I often wonder if young Mr. Zuckerberg is aware of what he's created and started, with this Facebook thing in which so many of us participate these days.
Someday...or maybe it's happening now, who knows...some smart sociologist is going to team up with some psychologists and whichever other "____ists" would be interested, and start doing some studies on how the Facebook phenomenon has influenced human interaction.
It has brought on several new verbs, as in "Do you facebook?", and "Can I friend you?". It has most definitely sped up the rate at which relationships are both formed (for better or worse), and fall apart.
Some folks use Facebook as their diary, posting anything and everything about their daily lives, and saying "the heck with you" to anyone who objects.
There are those who firmly believe that Facebook should only be used to positive thoughts and happy news.
The ability to "unfriend" and "block" someone, between one breath and the next, based only on the words seen on a computer screen, can make one's head spin.
And at the same time, I myself have benefited greatly from Facebook, in that it has allowed me and many others in the Prader-Willi Syndrome community to connect with each other. Without Facebook, there is little or no chance I would have linked up with PWS families around the world. Eight years ago, my husband and I knew no-one whose child had been diagnosed with PWS. Now, because of the internet and Facebook, I am linked to 700+ parents/grandparents/caregivers to individuals with PWS, and to several individuals-with-PWS themselves. It is an amazing thing. It is a good thing. I'm thankful for it. I'm sure there are other special-needs and rare-disease communities who have had the same experience.
So, I'll be honest and say that over the past 3 years since I joined Facebook, there have been plenty of days when I have been truly blessed and uplifted by the support provided by friends, family, and acquaintances. At the same time, there have also been plenty of days when the dynamics that happen there have been stressful, and hurtful, and have really made me want to cancel my entire account. I mean, how much can we really know about that person typing those words which appear within seconds right in front of me? Can they be trusted? Who knows....and for the most part, probably not. I've gotten better at trusting my gut-instinct about people who I know only through Facebook; but that takes at least a year of reading their posts. So, even on Facebook, where getting a response from someone can happen so blessedly fast - it takes time before you can really get a sense of even a small part of someone's character.
It will be intertesting to read what the sociologists start telling us, in about 10 years.
Later,
Jen
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
[Bump] The blog's name...
comes from the lyrics to the song for the song "Say", by John Mayer:
[edited post, originally published in January 2009]
"Take all of your wasted honor
every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to saaaay
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to say
Have no fear, for giving in
Have no fear, for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open...
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to, say what you need to,
say what you need to saaaay....."
I've heard this song many times on the radio. I'm not a huge fan of John Mayer the person, but I do like this particular song. It has a very direct message, which states that it's better to get out those feelings in your head and heart than to keep them in, where they do no-one any good.
The lyrics of this song are an excellent illustration of what really worthwhile communication is about, whether through blogging, or phone calls, or face-to-face conversations: are we really saying what needs to be said? What really needs to be said to the people in our lives, not just idle chit-chat?
So, why the phrase "Say what you need to say" as a title for this blog? Well, I guess because I see blogging as an outlet for at least some of what I want to say. I'm an intelligent person who is currently in need of both a writing outlet and a way to write about various aspects of my life. I'll be writing about various things, including books, and marriage, and parenting, and life as a parent of a special-needs-child, and life with a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome and all the challenges that brings to me and my family. I could write a whole blog on PWS all by itself...but that's not all of who I am, and while PWS definitely affects my family it does not completely define my family. I may mention God/Jesus and my faith life at times, but please, I'm not trying to evangelize anyone or shove religion at you! I may be learning a bit about myself in this process, but that's to be expected, and I hope you'll bear with me -- like this blog, we are all a work-in-progress!
Later,
Jen
[edited post, originally published in January 2009]
"Take all of your wasted honor
every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to saaaay
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to say
Have no fear, for giving in
Have no fear, for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open...
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to, say what you need to,
say what you need to saaaay....."
I've heard this song many times on the radio. I'm not a huge fan of John Mayer the person, but I do like this particular song. It has a very direct message, which states that it's better to get out those feelings in your head and heart than to keep them in, where they do no-one any good.
The lyrics of this song are an excellent illustration of what really worthwhile communication is about, whether through blogging, or phone calls, or face-to-face conversations: are we really saying what needs to be said? What really needs to be said to the people in our lives, not just idle chit-chat?
So, why the phrase "Say what you need to say" as a title for this blog? Well, I guess because I see blogging as an outlet for at least some of what I want to say. I'm an intelligent person who is currently in need of both a writing outlet and a way to write about various aspects of my life. I'll be writing about various things, including books, and marriage, and parenting, and life as a parent of a special-needs-child, and life with a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome and all the challenges that brings to me and my family. I could write a whole blog on PWS all by itself...but that's not all of who I am, and while PWS definitely affects my family it does not completely define my family. I may mention God/Jesus and my faith life at times, but please, I'm not trying to evangelize anyone or shove religion at you! I may be learning a bit about myself in this process, but that's to be expected, and I hope you'll bear with me -- like this blog, we are all a work-in-progress!
Later,
Jen
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Back?
Well. It has been a while - almost 10 months - since the last post.
This is kind of just a test post, to see if my blog still automatically links to Facebook; it was doing that, and I am still paying for that service (but not taking advantage of it, obviously!). I am not sure I will continue blogging, and without a doubt some of the posts on the blog will become non-visible or will disappear. It's easy, when starting out on a blog, to just sit down and start telling the world about yourself. Or at least, I found that pretty easy - leading to possibly giving out more background information about myself than I'm actually comfortable with! So, we'll see about all this.
Later,
Jen
This is kind of just a test post, to see if my blog still automatically links to Facebook; it was doing that, and I am still paying for that service (but not taking advantage of it, obviously!). I am not sure I will continue blogging, and without a doubt some of the posts on the blog will become non-visible or will disappear. It's easy, when starting out on a blog, to just sit down and start telling the world about yourself. Or at least, I found that pretty easy - leading to possibly giving out more background information about myself than I'm actually comfortable with! So, we'll see about all this.
Later,
Jen
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten Years Ago
I know many people will have much to say, today. It is hard to believe that it has been 10 years since we watched the terrible and unthinkable play across our t.v. screens and our newspapers and our computer screens.
10 years ago, I was in my living room at our previous house. K and I were getting ready to go to a playgroup. Someone called me, I don't remember who exactly but possibly it was my mom or one of my sisters. They told me a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and to turn on the t.v., so I did.
I was 28 at the time. My world had taken a monumental turn when I became a parent...that day, that morning, I think the entire universe shifted for many, many people.
I have to admit, I have been trying not to turn on the t.v. very much this weekend; and even checking into my F.acebook page has been difficult, because of the near-constant remembrances and ceremonies going on. This is not because I am unpatriotic, or cold-hearted, or unfeeling...far from it.
You see, we live about 10 minutes from a busy, 'international' airport. We are in the landing/take-off paths for just about every plane that uses that airport. Since we've lived in our current house, our route to take K to dance travels a road over which large passenger planes regularly take off and land just feet above our heads. Even 10 years ago, in the previous house, we were still in the landing pattern and takeoff patterns for the airport. I have always lived in this proximity to this airport. The sound of plane engines is a constant.
As I told my husband earlier today, every day since that day - once the airlines restarted flights - I have never been able to watch a plane about to land or taking off overhead without thinking about 9/11, about those in NYC who watched a passenger jet slam not once but twice into the WTC towers, about those people on those planes who at some point realized they were about to die, about all the people that died that day. Because of where we live, two of the planes used that day flew right over our heads, in that beautiful, sunny September sky.
As I said, the air traffic around here is constant. We drive by the airport runways several times a week, almost every week. Part of the environmental sound here, in my neighborhood, is the roar of jet engines. Memorials of 9/11 have been a constant, for me. Maybe I'm strange that way, thinking about 9/11 just because I drive by the airport as a jet engine roars and screams away 200 feet above me, I don't know.
Whatever the events of 9/11 will come to mean as the future unrolls, I haven't forgotten them. I never will. It's just not possible, nor would I want to.
Later,
Jen
10 years ago, I was in my living room at our previous house. K and I were getting ready to go to a playgroup. Someone called me, I don't remember who exactly but possibly it was my mom or one of my sisters. They told me a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and to turn on the t.v., so I did.
I was 28 at the time. My world had taken a monumental turn when I became a parent...that day, that morning, I think the entire universe shifted for many, many people.
I have to admit, I have been trying not to turn on the t.v. very much this weekend; and even checking into my F.acebook page has been difficult, because of the near-constant remembrances and ceremonies going on. This is not because I am unpatriotic, or cold-hearted, or unfeeling...far from it.
You see, we live about 10 minutes from a busy, 'international' airport. We are in the landing/take-off paths for just about every plane that uses that airport. Since we've lived in our current house, our route to take K to dance travels a road over which large passenger planes regularly take off and land just feet above our heads. Even 10 years ago, in the previous house, we were still in the landing pattern and takeoff patterns for the airport. I have always lived in this proximity to this airport. The sound of plane engines is a constant.
As I told my husband earlier today, every day since that day - once the airlines restarted flights - I have never been able to watch a plane about to land or taking off overhead without thinking about 9/11, about those in NYC who watched a passenger jet slam not once but twice into the WTC towers, about those people on those planes who at some point realized they were about to die, about all the people that died that day. Because of where we live, two of the planes used that day flew right over our heads, in that beautiful, sunny September sky.
As I said, the air traffic around here is constant. We drive by the airport runways several times a week, almost every week. Part of the environmental sound here, in my neighborhood, is the roar of jet engines. Memorials of 9/11 have been a constant, for me. Maybe I'm strange that way, thinking about 9/11 just because I drive by the airport as a jet engine roars and screams away 200 feet above me, I don't know.
Whatever the events of 9/11 will come to mean as the future unrolls, I haven't forgotten them. I never will. It's just not possible, nor would I want to.
Later,
Jen
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
As Elder Daughter turns 12
Elder Daughter turns 12 in the next week. She just started 7th grade yesterday. The first day went well - although I am more than a little nervous about her ability to stay on top of the amount of homework she will now be getting, with 7 different teachers/classes! She's taking French - her homework yesterday was to practice saying her name with a French accent. To help her I kept asking her to say that for me...I'm sure speaking that way will feel awkward for her at first, but to truly implant a foreign language in the brain, ya gotta actually speak it!
Anyway, like I said, she's turning 12 soon. I look at her, with her makeup and getting taller...and my brain can't help but jump forward about 10 years and wonder what her future will be! Here is a list of all the things I wish for her:
-I hope she chooses a path for her life which not only makes her happy, but is also fulfilling, honest, legal, moral, and pays her bills!
-I hope she is picky about who she dates! She won't be actually "dating" until she's maybe 15 or 16, which I suspect will become hard to enforce because I know B and I are more strict with her than the parents of her peers in some respects.
-I hope she grows into a young woman who is curious about the world beyond our town, our part of the country, our continent!
-I want her to understand that just because her peers may have little or no interest in attending college, as a female in this economy/society it is doubly important that she obtain as much higher education as possible!
-I hope she grows to understand that getting married is not a mandatory choice just because she is female. I hope as she gets older, she understands that while it is human nature to want and have relationships, it is not imperative to be married in order to be happy.
-I hope that as she gets older, she knows that it is not mandatory - just because she is female - that she have children. If she does choose to have children, I hope she waits to do that until she has a true understanding of the sacrifices involved. I hope she understands that the choices to get married, and/or become a parent, should be fully informed choices and not something that circumstances choose for her.
-I hope she grows into someone who chooses to read a book/take a hike/walk the dog/otherwise engage her brain cells...instead of watching hours of pointless television.
-I hope she maintains a compassionate and kind heart for those who have not had the same advantages she has been blessed with, and approaches those people/situations with which she in unfamiliar with an open mind.
-I hope she maintains a positive relationship with her sister, throughout their lives.
I could think of more, I'm sure! By the way, I doubt K will see this post - at least not anytime soon. I wouldn't lay all this on her anyway, it's all too 'deep' for a kid her age and anyway, I'm sure I have told her most of this one way or another. I have to go make a "real hair-cut" appointment for her, she wants an actual style, done at a hair salon as a birthday present.
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Anyway, like I said, she's turning 12 soon. I look at her, with her makeup and getting taller...and my brain can't help but jump forward about 10 years and wonder what her future will be! Here is a list of all the things I wish for her:
-I hope she chooses a path for her life which not only makes her happy, but is also fulfilling, honest, legal, moral, and pays her bills!
-I hope she is picky about who she dates! She won't be actually "dating" until she's maybe 15 or 16, which I suspect will become hard to enforce because I know B and I are more strict with her than the parents of her peers in some respects.
-I hope she grows into a young woman who is curious about the world beyond our town, our part of the country, our continent!
-I want her to understand that just because her peers may have little or no interest in attending college, as a female in this economy/society it is doubly important that she obtain as much higher education as possible!
-I hope she grows to understand that getting married is not a mandatory choice just because she is female. I hope as she gets older, she understands that while it is human nature to want and have relationships, it is not imperative to be married in order to be happy.
-I hope that as she gets older, she knows that it is not mandatory - just because she is female - that she have children. If she does choose to have children, I hope she waits to do that until she has a true understanding of the sacrifices involved. I hope she understands that the choices to get married, and/or become a parent, should be fully informed choices and not something that circumstances choose for her.
-I hope she grows into someone who chooses to read a book/take a hike/walk the dog/otherwise engage her brain cells...instead of watching hours of pointless television.
-I hope she maintains a compassionate and kind heart for those who have not had the same advantages she has been blessed with, and approaches those people/situations with which she in unfamiliar with an open mind.
-I hope she maintains a positive relationship with her sister, throughout their lives.
I could think of more, I'm sure! By the way, I doubt K will see this post - at least not anytime soon. I wouldn't lay all this on her anyway, it's all too 'deep' for a kid her age and anyway, I'm sure I have told her most of this one way or another. I have to go make a "real hair-cut" appointment for her, she wants an actual style, done at a hair salon as a birthday present.
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Monday, August 29, 2011
Mental "down-time"
The kids finally, finally, finally started back to school today. It was both a quick AND a long summer. Part of our current challenge, here, is teaching Elder Daughter (aka "K") how to best tolerate Younger Daughter's (aka "S") behavioral and personality "quirks". S's quirks are very much generated, at this point, by Prader-Willi Syndrome - and so, while she will grow up and change some, many of those quirks are syndrome-driven and, as such, aren't going anywhere. Thus, what drives K crazy will continue to do that, unless and until we can help her find some coping tactics. One of the current coping tactics is for her to go in her room and hang out there with her door closed...but, you know, I don't want her doing that constantly.
Anyway. That's not what I was going to write about! I was actually going to present this list:
10 things I am taking advantage of, being home by myself:
1. Being able to take a shower without S needing to use the bathroom. We do have two bathrooms...that's one thing that sold us on this particular house...but that doesn't mean either child is willing to actually go downstairs and use the other freakin' bathroom!
2. Being able to move about the house, doing this and that, without persistent questions about what I am doing and why I am doing it.
3. NOT having to prepare some snack or meal, every 120 minutes. NOT having to consult the clock unless I need to. Aaaaah, the mental rest that comes when my child-with-PWS, who is constantly thinking about the next eating time, is at school for 6.5 hours. Aaaaahhhhhh.
4. Being able to go outside, let the dog out, skim the pool....and not have to worry about the girls in the house, getting into a vicious back-and-forth over something.
5. Being able to run errands quickly, without needing to plan it around the 10 - noon - 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. snack/meal times. Running errands quickly is not possible with any child under the age of, say, 10 or so. Not that I've run any errands today, but I will tomorrow.
6. The silence in the house. The absolute, utter silence.
7. Being able to use the computer all day, to get things done that I've been putting off for weeks.
8. Being able to listen to an entire CD, without S coming along and wanting to listen to something herself.
9. Being able to sit and do absolutely nothing except let my brain rest, for some short length of time. Aaaaahh. Bliss.
What does your mental "down-time" look like? Do you meditate, take a walk, take a drive?
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Anyway. That's not what I was going to write about! I was actually going to present this list:
10 things I am taking advantage of, being home by myself:
1. Being able to take a shower without S needing to use the bathroom. We do have two bathrooms...that's one thing that sold us on this particular house...but that doesn't mean either child is willing to actually go downstairs and use the other freakin' bathroom!
2. Being able to move about the house, doing this and that, without persistent questions about what I am doing and why I am doing it.
3. NOT having to prepare some snack or meal, every 120 minutes. NOT having to consult the clock unless I need to. Aaaaah, the mental rest that comes when my child-with-PWS, who is constantly thinking about the next eating time, is at school for 6.5 hours. Aaaaahhhhhh.
4. Being able to go outside, let the dog out, skim the pool....and not have to worry about the girls in the house, getting into a vicious back-and-forth over something.
5. Being able to run errands quickly, without needing to plan it around the 10 - noon - 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. snack/meal times. Running errands quickly is not possible with any child under the age of, say, 10 or so. Not that I've run any errands today, but I will tomorrow.
6. The silence in the house. The absolute, utter silence.
7. Being able to use the computer all day, to get things done that I've been putting off for weeks.
8. Being able to listen to an entire CD, without S coming along and wanting to listen to something herself.
9. Being able to sit and do absolutely nothing except let my brain rest, for some short length of time. Aaaaahh. Bliss.
What does your mental "down-time" look like? Do you meditate, take a walk, take a drive?
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Garage Sale Report!
Yay, it is DONE! Some observations from the day:
1) When I make 5 signs advertising my garage sale, and every single flippin' sign says VERY clearly "NO EARLY BIRDS", yes I really do mean that if the sale starts at 9 a.m. I am not ready or willing to sell even a pencil UNTIL 9 A.M. I really mean that. I'm not kidding. I am not a morning person so, FOR SURE, I am not ready for you to begin trolling through my cast-offs until 9 A.M. and no sooner.
2) And you know what? The woman who attempted to start shopping my sale early this morning was, I swear, the same woman who tried to do the same thing at the sale we had about 3 years ago. Apparently she has not learned how to read.
3) Once again, same as with the last time we had a garage sale, the things I thought would sell immediately...didn't sell immediately, or didn't sell at all. For example, the Hubster used to work for a company called "The Bom.bay Company". It was a higher-priced home decor store. At one point they company opened a Kids decor store, from which he purchaned this small, pink, ride-on rocking poodle thing. Stop laughing, it's very cute. It originally was priced for about $130 (he bought it at a discount). The girls were never at all rough with their toys and this little toy was no exception - it's still in really good shape. We had it priced for $10. We still have it, it did not sell. I was really surprised.
4) Coffee mugs do not sell well, at garage sales.
5) Maci.ntosh computers from around 2002 (?) also do not sell well. In fact, they don't sell at all.
6) A cozy-looking pink Snu.ggie, which some young girl received for Christmas just 8 months ago....also does not sell.
After our last garage sale, I was amazed at how much "money spent" was represented by all the stuff we had spread out or put on tables, on our lawn. It was truly amazing, the hundreds of dollars represented by what we had on sale that day. This time around, the Hubster made that observation first, early in the day, as we sat and surveyed everything we had put out. Lots and lots and lots of toys, lots and lots of children's book, a good number of very nice girl's dresses, almost $1000 worth of car seats and baby equipment...all priced at just a fraction of its original cost. Some of the toys were really never even played with. I know, I know - that's the way it is with kids. You can try and guess what kinds of things they'd like for birthdays or holidays, but inevitably, unless they're standing right there telling you what to buy AND they have about two months to try out the thing first, you have only about a 10% chance of getting them something they actually will keep/like/use. So, a good deal of the gifts kids get are either re-gifted, or touched once and then put away, or exchanged for the thing they really wanted. Maybe companies should start shaping the gift cards into big, gift-size plastic cubes gift-cards, so we can all wrap/gift those for birthdays and holidays and still be sure that the kids will like/use them? I will say this - if you are still in the baby-having phase of your life, or you are a grandparent who is able to spend time with the grandkids - shop at garage sales. Do not pay full-price for ANYTHING which you might be able to get, almost new and for so much less, at a garage sale. This includes small toys or toy 'parts', large plastic yard toys, books, furniture, playpens, high-chairs, clothing. Seriously, take a day and troll the neighborhood garage sales. It may take a couple stops or tries but I am sure you will find something good!
Thanks for visiting!
Later,
Jen
1) When I make 5 signs advertising my garage sale, and every single flippin' sign says VERY clearly "NO EARLY BIRDS", yes I really do mean that if the sale starts at 9 a.m. I am not ready or willing to sell even a pencil UNTIL 9 A.M. I really mean that. I'm not kidding. I am not a morning person so, FOR SURE, I am not ready for you to begin trolling through my cast-offs until 9 A.M. and no sooner.
2) And you know what? The woman who attempted to start shopping my sale early this morning was, I swear, the same woman who tried to do the same thing at the sale we had about 3 years ago. Apparently she has not learned how to read.
3) Once again, same as with the last time we had a garage sale, the things I thought would sell immediately...didn't sell immediately, or didn't sell at all. For example, the Hubster used to work for a company called "The Bom.bay Company". It was a higher-priced home decor store. At one point they company opened a Kids decor store, from which he purchaned this small, pink, ride-on rocking poodle thing. Stop laughing, it's very cute. It originally was priced for about $130 (he bought it at a discount). The girls were never at all rough with their toys and this little toy was no exception - it's still in really good shape. We had it priced for $10. We still have it, it did not sell. I was really surprised.
4) Coffee mugs do not sell well, at garage sales.
5) Maci.ntosh computers from around 2002 (?) also do not sell well. In fact, they don't sell at all.
6) A cozy-looking pink Snu.ggie, which some young girl received for Christmas just 8 months ago....also does not sell.
After our last garage sale, I was amazed at how much "money spent" was represented by all the stuff we had spread out or put on tables, on our lawn. It was truly amazing, the hundreds of dollars represented by what we had on sale that day. This time around, the Hubster made that observation first, early in the day, as we sat and surveyed everything we had put out. Lots and lots and lots of toys, lots and lots of children's book, a good number of very nice girl's dresses, almost $1000 worth of car seats and baby equipment...all priced at just a fraction of its original cost. Some of the toys were really never even played with. I know, I know - that's the way it is with kids. You can try and guess what kinds of things they'd like for birthdays or holidays, but inevitably, unless they're standing right there telling you what to buy AND they have about two months to try out the thing first, you have only about a 10% chance of getting them something they actually will keep/like/use. So, a good deal of the gifts kids get are either re-gifted, or touched once and then put away, or exchanged for the thing they really wanted. Maybe companies should start shaping the gift cards into big, gift-size plastic cubes gift-cards, so we can all wrap/gift those for birthdays and holidays and still be sure that the kids will like/use them? I will say this - if you are still in the baby-having phase of your life, or you are a grandparent who is able to spend time with the grandkids - shop at garage sales. Do not pay full-price for ANYTHING which you might be able to get, almost new and for so much less, at a garage sale. This includes small toys or toy 'parts', large plastic yard toys, books, furniture, playpens, high-chairs, clothing. Seriously, take a day and troll the neighborhood garage sales. It may take a couple stops or tries but I am sure you will find something good!
Thanks for visiting!
Later,
Jen
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