Snow days. No school today or tomorrow. Hopefully they will go back to school on Wednesday.
I posted on Facebook, yesterday, a "thank-you" to Mother Nature for the timing of this Polar Vortex (that's a meteorological term I guess). Snow days are to be expected, but two of them in a row after my kids have already been home for two weeks on Christmas break is not cool.
To which post, a teacher-friend of mine commented that for teachers, these snow days are like a two-day miracle before having to try, for eight hours, to keep our cabin-fevered children sitting still and learning.
Okay, I guess she has a point.
However, let me make these points: She gets PAID. Yes I get it that teachers don't get paid enough, but they GET PAID. Stay-at-home-parents? No, they don't get a paycheck or benefits or paid time-off ( yes, yes, I know, they "get paid in kisses and hugs" but, have you tried to pay your bills with that? Or buy groceries?).
Also, teachers have evenings, weekends, summer breaks, Christmas breaks, and spring breaks to recover from the hours they spend with our children (and I would hope they actually enjoy the job they chose and for which they get paid - otherwise, why keep doing it?). Stay-at-home-parents have NO automatically scheduled vacations or breaks. The only "break" I get from my 24/7 stay-at-home-mom job is when my kids are sleeping, and when they are at school...IF they have school. Believe me, teachers, our kids are home and in our care MUCH more than they are at school.
So, forgive me for being a little frustrated that my list of five dozen to-do's isn't going to get done, or even started on, today. Even as I sit here and write, my younger daughter is sitting in a chair right behind me, waiting to get on the computer (which she of course thought about doing ONLY because I said I had things to do on the computer. Grrrrrr. And I have to turn the computer screen so she can't read over my shoulder.). Forgive me for wanting JUST A LITTLE TIME TO MYSELF, to sit and do something without being interrupted. Sheesh.
Later,
Jen
Monday, January 6, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Because, you know, life was boring
FOR PETE'S SAKE. Seriously???
If you've read any of my past posts, you may know that my younger daughter Sophie was diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome shortly after she was born. She will be 10 years old very soon, and it has been an interesting, educational, tiring 10 years. The next 10 years should prove to be even more..."educational"...if the stories from other PWS parents are any indication.
So, because life is wholly unpredictable, and because really, who wants their life to be boring and without incident, my older daughter K has just been diagnosed with "Primary Generalized Epilepsy". Wanna know where she was when this diagnosis came about?
She was a gazillion miles away, on a school orchestra/band/choir trip to Orlando, Florida. Talk about a phone call you never, ever want to get at 11:15 p.m. when your child is that far away and experiencing something that must have scared the cr@p out of her. She was in excellent hands, though - the orchestra director was on the trip, and accompanied her through the entire experience of two hospital trips and an EEG which conclusively dx'd PGE but triggered another seizure another seizure in the process.
It hurts my heart to think about my beautiful, smart, funny girl having a seizure, even when there are 3-4 highly-qualified doctors right there to help.
Sorry for the swearing but, honestly, it has been a shitty couple days. K has been dealing with severe anxiety since March of 2013; having dealt with that and turned a corner with it through meds and counseling, now she has this to accept and understand and live with. Certainly she should gain confidence from this experience! Heck she made it through this trip and the seizures and the hospital stays without her parents being physically there with her...IMPRESSIVE, without a doubt.
However...do I wish this trip had happened and finished without this added detail? Most definitely.
Here's hoping that 2014 does NOT become "The Year of The Bad Keppra Adventures". :-/
Later,
Jen
If you've read any of my past posts, you may know that my younger daughter Sophie was diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome shortly after she was born. She will be 10 years old very soon, and it has been an interesting, educational, tiring 10 years. The next 10 years should prove to be even more..."educational"...if the stories from other PWS parents are any indication.
So, because life is wholly unpredictable, and because really, who wants their life to be boring and without incident, my older daughter K has just been diagnosed with "Primary Generalized Epilepsy". Wanna know where she was when this diagnosis came about?
She was a gazillion miles away, on a school orchestra/band/choir trip to Orlando, Florida. Talk about a phone call you never, ever want to get at 11:15 p.m. when your child is that far away and experiencing something that must have scared the cr@p out of her. She was in excellent hands, though - the orchestra director was on the trip, and accompanied her through the entire experience of two hospital trips and an EEG which conclusively dx'd PGE but triggered another seizure another seizure in the process.
It hurts my heart to think about my beautiful, smart, funny girl having a seizure, even when there are 3-4 highly-qualified doctors right there to help.
Sorry for the swearing but, honestly, it has been a shitty couple days. K has been dealing with severe anxiety since March of 2013; having dealt with that and turned a corner with it through meds and counseling, now she has this to accept and understand and live with. Certainly she should gain confidence from this experience! Heck she made it through this trip and the seizures and the hospital stays without her parents being physically there with her...IMPRESSIVE, without a doubt.
However...do I wish this trip had happened and finished without this added detail? Most definitely.
Here's hoping that 2014 does NOT become "The Year of The Bad Keppra Adventures". :-/
Later,
Jen
Friday, January 3, 2014
Okay, okay, I'll write something!
It's 10:38 here in my world, and to be quite honest, I don't feel like writing. But, here I am, and yes I marched myself up here to the computer in the chilly dormer room although I would rather be under my favorite blanket reading a book. I'm not sure my writing effort for today will be worth reading, but National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo) will hopefully be a great way to make writing every day a habit, however bad the product may be.
So today's "prompt" is this:
"Friday, January 3, 2014
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate, or do you like checking things off your to-do list?"
Hmmm. Can I answer this tomorrow? Just kidding. I have made many to-do lists in my life. For some reason, they don't work. Possibly because the act of writing it all down feels like enough of an accomplishment and the pressure to actually do those things is no longer there? Or perhaps I am overwhelmed by the list? Actually one thing I have done, which seems to help me be able to actually check things off, is write just three of the most pressing things to do for that day on a post-it note. Preferably a brightly colored post-it. I tried this one day, and I will say that by the end of the day, it felt pretty good to have checked off those three things and thrown that note away. A smaller list, written on a smaller piece of paper...much less daunting perhaps.
However, sometimes it doesn't matter how many to-do lists I write or where/how I write them, because being a stay-at-home parent means that your "plans" for the day - any day - are largely meaningless. IF I am able to accomplish something, anything, I count it as a mark in the "win" column and pat myself on the back. For instance, today I didn't have a plan for the day - other than going out to get dog food, which didn't happen anyway because my older daughter was just diagnosed with "primary generalized epilepsy" and is still getting used to her medication, and I didn't want to leave her home alone. So, Sophie helped me take down the Christmas tree (taking lights out of a Christmas tree = #4 on my list of the most irritating things on earth), and I also vacuumed the first floor and upstairs. Definitely a pat-myself-on-the-back kind of day. Of course, in the process of putting the tree away, I added an item to my to-do-at-some-point-in-the-future list: throw out every freaking thing in the attic...
Later,
Jen
So today's "prompt" is this:
"Friday, January 3, 2014
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate, or do you like checking things off your to-do list?"
Hmmm. Can I answer this tomorrow? Just kidding. I have made many to-do lists in my life. For some reason, they don't work. Possibly because the act of writing it all down feels like enough of an accomplishment and the pressure to actually do those things is no longer there? Or perhaps I am overwhelmed by the list? Actually one thing I have done, which seems to help me be able to actually check things off, is write just three of the most pressing things to do for that day on a post-it note. Preferably a brightly colored post-it. I tried this one day, and I will say that by the end of the day, it felt pretty good to have checked off those three things and thrown that note away. A smaller list, written on a smaller piece of paper...much less daunting perhaps.
However, sometimes it doesn't matter how many to-do lists I write or where/how I write them, because being a stay-at-home parent means that your "plans" for the day - any day - are largely meaningless. IF I am able to accomplish something, anything, I count it as a mark in the "win" column and pat myself on the back. For instance, today I didn't have a plan for the day - other than going out to get dog food, which didn't happen anyway because my older daughter was just diagnosed with "primary generalized epilepsy" and is still getting used to her medication, and I didn't want to leave her home alone. So, Sophie helped me take down the Christmas tree (taking lights out of a Christmas tree = #4 on my list of the most irritating things on earth), and I also vacuumed the first floor and upstairs. Definitely a pat-myself-on-the-back kind of day. Of course, in the process of putting the tree away, I added an item to my to-do-at-some-point-in-the-future list: throw out every freaking thing in the attic...
Later,
Jen
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Well, heck, it's January 2014
2013 absolutely flew by. And the past three months - or, really, the past 6-8 months - have been somewhat grueling, emotionally. So I am more than happy to start a "new year", even though I know it's just a change in the date.
I don't really make New Year's resolutions, but I do tend to look ahead and think "what would I like to accomplish in the next 12 months?". Of course I have a long list of things I have put off doing which I'd really like to get done this year. But since I am not an "island unto myself", and I have children/pets/a husband, I refuse to put too much pressure on myself to Get All The Things Done That I Should Have Done days or months or years ago. I know even if I lived alone and was not married and did not have children or pets, I would still be putting pressure on myself to do this-or-that - and for what? Going around with a brain full of pressure and I-shoulds and I-musts is largely unproductive, I think. It just puts so much stress on the brain that all I feel able to do is, well, sit down and think about everything I should be doing.
One thing I would like to do, though, is make writing a regular part of my weekly schedule. I announced publicly (on Facebook, which for me is somewhat similar to announcing it over the intercom at the local grocery store) that in 2014 I wanted to write more. Of course, I didn't say what I would be writing...so I guess I could be sneaky and clever and just write some neatly-worded to-do lists every day, or put out some pithy and rich Tweets or something. But, I am aiming to do more/better than that. I joined up with "NaBloPoMo" for January, which stands for "National Blog Post Month". Technically this is a November activity but it actually happens every month. It means I am supposed to put up a blog post every day in January. Obviously, since it is now January 2, I am already a day late. Oh well! Whether or not I like it, sometimes my efforts to write more this year will just have to take second-place to responsibilities like laundry and grocery shopping (and today, shoveling the driveway possibly). Such is life!
Later,
Jen
I don't really make New Year's resolutions, but I do tend to look ahead and think "what would I like to accomplish in the next 12 months?". Of course I have a long list of things I have put off doing which I'd really like to get done this year. But since I am not an "island unto myself", and I have children/pets/a husband, I refuse to put too much pressure on myself to Get All The Things Done That I Should Have Done days or months or years ago. I know even if I lived alone and was not married and did not have children or pets, I would still be putting pressure on myself to do this-or-that - and for what? Going around with a brain full of pressure and I-shoulds and I-musts is largely unproductive, I think. It just puts so much stress on the brain that all I feel able to do is, well, sit down and think about everything I should be doing.
One thing I would like to do, though, is make writing a regular part of my weekly schedule. I announced publicly (on Facebook, which for me is somewhat similar to announcing it over the intercom at the local grocery store) that in 2014 I wanted to write more. Of course, I didn't say what I would be writing...so I guess I could be sneaky and clever and just write some neatly-worded to-do lists every day, or put out some pithy and rich Tweets or something. But, I am aiming to do more/better than that. I joined up with "NaBloPoMo" for January, which stands for "National Blog Post Month". Technically this is a November activity but it actually happens every month. It means I am supposed to put up a blog post every day in January. Obviously, since it is now January 2, I am already a day late. Oh well! Whether or not I like it, sometimes my efforts to write more this year will just have to take second-place to responsibilities like laundry and grocery shopping (and today, shoveling the driveway possibly). Such is life!
Later,
Jen
Saturday, November 9, 2013
The constant heartache
I really try to "stay positive" and "look on the bright side" and "count my blessings", all that good stuff. I do. And if it seems like every time I write in here, I'm NOT happy and I'm not positive and all that...well...that's tough I guess. If you want constant happiness and bubbles and recipes and pictures of kids playing in beautiful piles of leaves, that's not this particular blog. If I run across one like that I'll let you know.
Anyway. Yes, most days I am thankful for lots of stuff. However it is also true that I am pretty much always walking around with a constant heartache. You know what causes that heartache? It's being the parent who is the near-constant observer of all those times when my daughter-with-a-diagnosis, who also shows no obvious signs of having a diagnosis, tries to participate in activities with other children who truly don't have a diagnosis.
For example? Today was Observation Day at Sophie's dance school. This is where the parents can come into the dance room and watch their kids' class (ordinarily we are waiting out in the lobby). And for me, this is such a mixed blessing. Today it was a little less blessing and a little more heartache. Sophie will never have the muscle tone or the gross-motor coordination necessary to truly participate in ballet classes. I am thankful that this dance school is not so serious that they really mind that, right now; however, it is also a heartache to watch my girl try to keep up with the moves and what the teacher is saying. So, YES I'm thankful that this dance school is, thus far, accepting of what Sophie can do - but, at the same time....I'm not stupid, nor am I someone who ignores reality. And the reality is, at some point, Sophie will no longer be able to actually take dance. Yes I know there are other options, and other activities that might be a better fit. But this, right now - THIS is just another manifestation of this constant heartache. I suspect this is something that all special-needs parents experience on a moment-to-moment basis, even as they are trying to put a brave face on things.
Later,
Jen
Anyway. Yes, most days I am thankful for lots of stuff. However it is also true that I am pretty much always walking around with a constant heartache. You know what causes that heartache? It's being the parent who is the near-constant observer of all those times when my daughter-with-a-diagnosis, who also shows no obvious signs of having a diagnosis, tries to participate in activities with other children who truly don't have a diagnosis.
For example? Today was Observation Day at Sophie's dance school. This is where the parents can come into the dance room and watch their kids' class (ordinarily we are waiting out in the lobby). And for me, this is such a mixed blessing. Today it was a little less blessing and a little more heartache. Sophie will never have the muscle tone or the gross-motor coordination necessary to truly participate in ballet classes. I am thankful that this dance school is not so serious that they really mind that, right now; however, it is also a heartache to watch my girl try to keep up with the moves and what the teacher is saying. So, YES I'm thankful that this dance school is, thus far, accepting of what Sophie can do - but, at the same time....I'm not stupid, nor am I someone who ignores reality. And the reality is, at some point, Sophie will no longer be able to actually take dance. Yes I know there are other options, and other activities that might be a better fit. But this, right now - THIS is just another manifestation of this constant heartache. I suspect this is something that all special-needs parents experience on a moment-to-moment basis, even as they are trying to put a brave face on things.
Later,
Jen
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Losing "normal"...again
When my younger daughter was diagnosed with a complex, frustrating genetic syndrome shortly after she was born, part of the adjustment process was accepting that her life would probably not follow what most of us would consider a "normal" path. Because of the demands that the syndrome would place on her, and those caring for her, those "normal" things that most of us take for granted - "typical" experiences in school, participation in childhood activities, relationships with other kids, expectations of further education/full-time job/marriage/kids - might be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for Sophie.
So, okay. I've never been someone who felt that the only way to be happy and live a good/fulfilling life was to do the "typical" stuff (even though my own life looks pretty typical). So Sophie will still have a the best life we can manage for her, without making lots of dire predictions. Okay.
Well, it is September of 2013, and guess what? I find myself once again having to accept the loss of "normal" - not in relation to my younger child, but this time with my older daughter, K. She's 14 now. She has been experiencing severe anxiety since earlier this year. We are trying a combination of medication and counseling for her. It is a process, and it takes time.
She is supposed to be a freshman in high school. I say "supposed to be", because she has only been in school for a full day one time - the first day, Aug 21 - because being there for the full day is not possible yet for her.
There are several experiences going on, here. There is her experience, of course; she is fully aware of and concerned about how much school she is missing. She misses her friends. There is an orchestra trip to FL that's happening over the holiday bread in December; I'm sure she is aware, as am I, that if she doesn't start to feel substantially better and get through complete days and weeks of school, she won't be able to go on this trip. She knows this is not a great way to start out a school year. So having those realities running through her head probably isn't too helpful - more stuff to be anxious about, on top of what she already has.
Then there is my experience, as her mother. I never thought of myself as a high-pressure parent. I'm not a parent who is stuck on having her kids make straight A's, go to some high-falutin' university, and conquer the world. At this point, though, I am having to once again reconfigure even the "normal" that I had assumed was possible, obtainable, expected for my typical, no-diagnosis-necessary (I thought) older daughter. She wants to do things with her friends - but at the moment and for the foreseeable future, she finds it daunting to even leave the house, which means that all those fun activities kids her age do - going up to the mall, going to the football game, going to Homecoming in a few weeks....may not happen, because of this anxiety. She spent the summer, for the most part, in her room. I would have taken her and friends to the mall, to the beach - but that would have meant leaving the house.
I feel like I have gone from having one special-needs-child with an adjusted future, to now having two kids who are having to deal with diagnoses that take them down some different paths. Some "not typical paths". And you know what? Even though I have been through this once before, this process of having to reconfigure what "normal" would look like - this STILL SUCKS. It just does. I am already tired of watching everyone else's typical kids freely do things that Sophie finds impossible. And now, with K, there is once again the absolute heartache of wondering what her high school years will be like and if there will be the same measure of good things in these years as there is for other kids. I just would like those years to be, well, "normal". I am still hoping for the best, I still know that treating this anxiety will take time, I know I must be patient, I know that what happens for her in the first few months of high school doesn't necessarily set the pattern for the whole four years - but, I still HATE this. I hate this for her. It still sucks, and it's not fair, and I hate that my kids have to struggle just to do the things that other kids seem to effortlessly do.
So, okay. I've never been someone who felt that the only way to be happy and live a good/fulfilling life was to do the "typical" stuff (even though my own life looks pretty typical). So Sophie will still have a the best life we can manage for her, without making lots of dire predictions. Okay.
Well, it is September of 2013, and guess what? I find myself once again having to accept the loss of "normal" - not in relation to my younger child, but this time with my older daughter, K. She's 14 now. She has been experiencing severe anxiety since earlier this year. We are trying a combination of medication and counseling for her. It is a process, and it takes time.
She is supposed to be a freshman in high school. I say "supposed to be", because she has only been in school for a full day one time - the first day, Aug 21 - because being there for the full day is not possible yet for her.
There are several experiences going on, here. There is her experience, of course; she is fully aware of and concerned about how much school she is missing. She misses her friends. There is an orchestra trip to FL that's happening over the holiday bread in December; I'm sure she is aware, as am I, that if she doesn't start to feel substantially better and get through complete days and weeks of school, she won't be able to go on this trip. She knows this is not a great way to start out a school year. So having those realities running through her head probably isn't too helpful - more stuff to be anxious about, on top of what she already has.
Then there is my experience, as her mother. I never thought of myself as a high-pressure parent. I'm not a parent who is stuck on having her kids make straight A's, go to some high-falutin' university, and conquer the world. At this point, though, I am having to once again reconfigure even the "normal" that I had assumed was possible, obtainable, expected for my typical, no-diagnosis-necessary (I thought) older daughter. She wants to do things with her friends - but at the moment and for the foreseeable future, she finds it daunting to even leave the house, which means that all those fun activities kids her age do - going up to the mall, going to the football game, going to Homecoming in a few weeks....may not happen, because of this anxiety. She spent the summer, for the most part, in her room. I would have taken her and friends to the mall, to the beach - but that would have meant leaving the house.
I feel like I have gone from having one special-needs-child with an adjusted future, to now having two kids who are having to deal with diagnoses that take them down some different paths. Some "not typical paths". And you know what? Even though I have been through this once before, this process of having to reconfigure what "normal" would look like - this STILL SUCKS. It just does. I am already tired of watching everyone else's typical kids freely do things that Sophie finds impossible. And now, with K, there is once again the absolute heartache of wondering what her high school years will be like and if there will be the same measure of good things in these years as there is for other kids. I just would like those years to be, well, "normal". I am still hoping for the best, I still know that treating this anxiety will take time, I know I must be patient, I know that what happens for her in the first few months of high school doesn't necessarily set the pattern for the whole four years - but, I still HATE this. I hate this for her. It still sucks, and it's not fair, and I hate that my kids have to struggle just to do the things that other kids seem to effortlessly do.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
The "slippery-slope" of gene therapy
First, to understand what I'm talking about, read this article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2368276/Scientists-switch-extra-chromosome-causes-Downs-Syndrome.html
Here is one quote from the article (but, you should really click on the link and read the whole thing):
"Gene therapy has already been used to treat medical problems that result from the presence of one defective gene, but this is the first time that silencing the impact of a whole chromosome has become a possibility."
The news in this article has been shared and re-shared by a good number of parents of children with PWS, on Facebook. It is definitely exciting news; while the possibilities of gene therapy have been researched for some time, this particular development is one that really resonates in the PWS community. There is a variety of PWS with which this possibility of turning off - or even turning on - a chromosome or parts of it is especially important: those children who have PWS by uniparental disomy, meaning they have two X (maternal) chromosomes in the 15th pair.
I can't possibly get deeply into the genetics of this - I'm relatively smart but I'm not a geneticist. What struck me as I read this article wasn't the miraculous science of it all. Rather, it was the moral and ethical ramifications of this development that would be faced, I think, down the road.
Does this ability to turn off that extra chromosome - would that mean that when in-utero testing is done, and the tests come back as definitely positive for Down's syndrome, that then the parent(s) would be able to make a choice about their baby? And by choice I mean, would they then be able to choose to still have the baby, but it would be a baby whose genes had been genetically modified so that they no longer had Down's Syndrome?
If this plan of action became available - what would society feel about parents who chose NOT to have their unborn child's genes genetically modified, and they thus chose to go ahead and give birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome? If humans develop the ability to fiddle with who the next generations fundamentally are - their genetic makeup - where does that stop?
I would say that pretty much all the parents/caregivers of individuals with PWS would be in favor of their child/family member not having this frustrating, complex syndrome. I'm just not sure if we all really want to condone "genetically modified humans". I do hope that research can silence the hyperphagia for my daughter and all those with PWS...I also think, though, that being able to orchestrate a syndrome-free or disease-free human may have some troubling ramifications.
Later,
Jen
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2368276/Scientists-switch-extra-chromosome-causes-Downs-Syndrome.html
Here is one quote from the article (but, you should really click on the link and read the whole thing):
"Gene therapy has already been used to treat medical problems that result from the presence of one defective gene, but this is the first time that silencing the impact of a whole chromosome has become a possibility."
The news in this article has been shared and re-shared by a good number of parents of children with PWS, on Facebook. It is definitely exciting news; while the possibilities of gene therapy have been researched for some time, this particular development is one that really resonates in the PWS community. There is a variety of PWS with which this possibility of turning off - or even turning on - a chromosome or parts of it is especially important: those children who have PWS by uniparental disomy, meaning they have two X (maternal) chromosomes in the 15th pair.
I can't possibly get deeply into the genetics of this - I'm relatively smart but I'm not a geneticist. What struck me as I read this article wasn't the miraculous science of it all. Rather, it was the moral and ethical ramifications of this development that would be faced, I think, down the road.
Does this ability to turn off that extra chromosome - would that mean that when in-utero testing is done, and the tests come back as definitely positive for Down's syndrome, that then the parent(s) would be able to make a choice about their baby? And by choice I mean, would they then be able to choose to still have the baby, but it would be a baby whose genes had been genetically modified so that they no longer had Down's Syndrome?
If this plan of action became available - what would society feel about parents who chose NOT to have their unborn child's genes genetically modified, and they thus chose to go ahead and give birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome? If humans develop the ability to fiddle with who the next generations fundamentally are - their genetic makeup - where does that stop?
I would say that pretty much all the parents/caregivers of individuals with PWS would be in favor of their child/family member not having this frustrating, complex syndrome. I'm just not sure if we all really want to condone "genetically modified humans". I do hope that research can silence the hyperphagia for my daughter and all those with PWS...I also think, though, that being able to orchestrate a syndrome-free or disease-free human may have some troubling ramifications.
Later,
Jen
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Summer
Summer is a very "mixed bag", I think, for parents of special-needs kids.
In one sense, it is definitely a break, a much-needed break, from the school environment and all that that environment means, for parents of children with special needs. Since she is at home, I know obviously where she is and I am assured that she is not around any unnecessary food and/or people/kids who will not treat her appropriately. I still worry about whether she is losing some of what she had been learning, in math skills especially, but there hasn't been too much regression in skills over summers so far, so I'm not too concerned.
However, I know Sophie misses the constant activity and the routine of the school day, and she also misses being around other kids. So for her, summer isn't always a great thing.
Summer is a time of year that seems to make it especially noticeable how challenging it is for children-with-special needs to have true "friends". By "friends" I guess I am thinking back to my own childhood, and how I and my neighborhood friends used to spend our days - roaming the neighborhood, going in and out of each others' houses, going to the pool, playing hide-and-seek. While I do understand that times have changed, and things are not the same as they were 30 years ago, still I clearly see that for Sophie, this ease of having friends is not immediately possible.
For a "typical" child to have a friendship with Sophie - one which looks anything like that between two "typical" children - they would be required to meet her in the middle, somewhere between their cognitive level, and hers. Sophie is 9, but has fun doing things that I suspect are more enjoyable for kids a year-or-two-younger. So while I would dearly love for my wonderful, funny, sweet daughter to have true friends, I would be surprised at this point to come upon any "typical" child who knows how - or has been taught how - to adjust their play skills so that both they and Sophie have fun. While I do notice and it breaks my heart, I sincerely hope that Sophie does not notice the neighborhood kids playing, choosing to play without her. If she does notice, I hope and pray that she doesn't understand it enough that it hurts her. I can't force kids to play with her, and I am too wary of kids being mean to her (which, again, I notice even if she doesn't) to want to push the issue.
School districts these days, for the most part, are instructed to practice the concept of "inclusion", where children with a diagnosis are still able to spend part of their day in the classroom with their same-age "typical" peers. And for the most part, this is a good thing. Unfortunately, though, there is still a piece missing in the inclusion effort, and that is, teaching "typical" children how to meet their special-needs peers halfway, in terms of spending enjoyable time together. Sophie does not often have kids to play with, at recess time at school. I have images of her standing by herself while outside. Micro-managing her entire school day, and/or forcing other kids to play with her by demanding the school do something, seems to be the solutions that jump to mind. Not the greatest solutions, and she does seem to have days where she plays with kids, so....
Here is a "for-instance", of how one child can learn how to interact with a special-needs child: Sophie spends part of every school day in the Intervention Room, which is where special-needs kids spend time learning the subjects which they need taught at a pace different from their mainstream peers. In Sophie's room there is a student who in non-verbal and is in a wheelchair. "Typical" children would take one look at her and assume that there is no way for them to interact with her in a positive, "play" manner - but as I learned, they would be wrong. Sophie is high-functioning enough to be able to help out, in the Intervention Room, in small ways. One of the ways she helps with this particular student is by pushing her around the room, in her wheelchair, when the student becomes upset. It seems that this student prefers movement, sound, action around her - it is enjoyable for her and without it, she often starts to cry. Is this something that "typical" students could help with? Yes, in a supervised way of course. It is a way that they could interact, positively, with a special-needs peer.
Ah summer....supposed to be such a carefree time filled with sunshine and ice-cream cones....doesn't always work that way.
Later,
Jen
In one sense, it is definitely a break, a much-needed break, from the school environment and all that that environment means, for parents of children with special needs. Since she is at home, I know obviously where she is and I am assured that she is not around any unnecessary food and/or people/kids who will not treat her appropriately. I still worry about whether she is losing some of what she had been learning, in math skills especially, but there hasn't been too much regression in skills over summers so far, so I'm not too concerned.
However, I know Sophie misses the constant activity and the routine of the school day, and she also misses being around other kids. So for her, summer isn't always a great thing.
Summer is a time of year that seems to make it especially noticeable how challenging it is for children-with-special needs to have true "friends". By "friends" I guess I am thinking back to my own childhood, and how I and my neighborhood friends used to spend our days - roaming the neighborhood, going in and out of each others' houses, going to the pool, playing hide-and-seek. While I do understand that times have changed, and things are not the same as they were 30 years ago, still I clearly see that for Sophie, this ease of having friends is not immediately possible.
For a "typical" child to have a friendship with Sophie - one which looks anything like that between two "typical" children - they would be required to meet her in the middle, somewhere between their cognitive level, and hers. Sophie is 9, but has fun doing things that I suspect are more enjoyable for kids a year-or-two-younger. So while I would dearly love for my wonderful, funny, sweet daughter to have true friends, I would be surprised at this point to come upon any "typical" child who knows how - or has been taught how - to adjust their play skills so that both they and Sophie have fun. While I do notice and it breaks my heart, I sincerely hope that Sophie does not notice the neighborhood kids playing, choosing to play without her. If she does notice, I hope and pray that she doesn't understand it enough that it hurts her. I can't force kids to play with her, and I am too wary of kids being mean to her (which, again, I notice even if she doesn't) to want to push the issue.
School districts these days, for the most part, are instructed to practice the concept of "inclusion", where children with a diagnosis are still able to spend part of their day in the classroom with their same-age "typical" peers. And for the most part, this is a good thing. Unfortunately, though, there is still a piece missing in the inclusion effort, and that is, teaching "typical" children how to meet their special-needs peers halfway, in terms of spending enjoyable time together. Sophie does not often have kids to play with, at recess time at school. I have images of her standing by herself while outside. Micro-managing her entire school day, and/or forcing other kids to play with her by demanding the school do something, seems to be the solutions that jump to mind. Not the greatest solutions, and she does seem to have days where she plays with kids, so....
Here is a "for-instance", of how one child can learn how to interact with a special-needs child: Sophie spends part of every school day in the Intervention Room, which is where special-needs kids spend time learning the subjects which they need taught at a pace different from their mainstream peers. In Sophie's room there is a student who in non-verbal and is in a wheelchair. "Typical" children would take one look at her and assume that there is no way for them to interact with her in a positive, "play" manner - but as I learned, they would be wrong. Sophie is high-functioning enough to be able to help out, in the Intervention Room, in small ways. One of the ways she helps with this particular student is by pushing her around the room, in her wheelchair, when the student becomes upset. It seems that this student prefers movement, sound, action around her - it is enjoyable for her and without it, she often starts to cry. Is this something that "typical" students could help with? Yes, in a supervised way of course. It is a way that they could interact, positively, with a special-needs peer.
Ah summer....supposed to be such a carefree time filled with sunshine and ice-cream cones....doesn't always work that way.
Later,
Jen
Friday, October 26, 2012
The "food life" of the PWS* parent
[*PWS = Prader-Willi Syndrome]
The topic sometimes comes up, among PWS parents, of "how have your/your family's eating habits changed since your child was diagnosed with PWS?". Because Prader-Willi Syndrome has almost everything to do with the scheduled consumption of food by one's child, and the calorie-count of that food, it is often a standard consequence that the eating/food preparation habits of everyone in the household are affected, both for better and for worse. Some parents are able to change their life 100% with the entrance of the PWS diagnosis, and they devote all of their time to becoming nutrition and supplement experts. Most parents, though, are doing the best they can, keeping their child-with-PWS as healthy and slim as they can while muddling through as far as feeding the rest of the family. "Food" and its preparation becomes a source of questioning and recalculating of eating habits that have been in practice for many years before the entrance of the PWS diagnosis.
Take me, for example.
Like a good number of PWS parents, I sneak snacks. I eat stuff I shouldn't, when I know Sophie won't see me. Eating in the late hours of the day when she is definitely in bed is now a bad habit of mine. I sometimes eat when I'm not at all hungry, because if I don't, I know that I'll become hungry in a moment when Sophie should not be eating, and to eat in front of her at that time would be cruel.
Then there is the "recipe collection". I have probably 100 back issues of food-based magazines; "Cooking Light", "Everyday Food", to name a few. There are several stacks of cookbooks on various shelves around the house. I have a binder bursting with several hundred recipes clipped from magazines and printed off from the internet.
But...do I actually "cook", anymore? As in, follow a recipe, make something "from scratch", spend any prolonged time in the kitchen?
Not really, for various PWS-related reasons.
Any extra time spent in the kitchen, when Sophie is home, in problematic. She likes to hang out in the kitchen and sometimes wants to help me, even if what I'm making is really simple. So then I worry, should she even be IN the kitchen at all? If she's watching me warm this up or make that, will she at some point sneak into the kitchen and try to make it herself (because I am ALWAYS telling her that this or that food item, if eaten without cooking it first, will make her very very sick - so as to somehow deter her from eating raw food product. Except then, will she just use her clever brain, take the food anyway, and try to cook it herself??). There is also the concern that, if something is cooking for a few hours and sending tantalizing smells all through the house, does that bother Sophie and cause her added stress? Do I open all the windows to decrease the smells? Should I just not cook or bake much at all?
And then, with all these cookbooks and food magazines and clipped recipes, of course it is now mandatory to consider the calorie-count-per-serving for whatever recipe. Sophie is eight years old now, and with the passing years I have kind of lost my desire to make much of anything - there is no longer any justification for making a recipe "just because it tastes or looks good" or "just because it was a comfort food when I was a kid", if one serving equals 200, 300, 400+ calories. Certainly Sophie's portion can be adjusted so that she can at least have some, and the rest of her meal would be suitably lightened up. That isn't hard to do, and I have certainly done that on occasions when it has been necessary. It gets tiring and depressing, though, to approach every recipe with that precaution in mind. Really, the more recipes I read, I start to question why any recipe, for any main dish, side dish, dessert, whatever, needs to be made with full-fat or full-calorie ingredients. If the population of the U.S. is in the midst of an obesity epidemic, then why does any company or chef or food magazine or cookbook author produce recipes with seemingly no regard for the calorie-count-per-serving? I have looked at recipes where the count is 600 calories-per-serving, and the serving size is one cup. Now, obviously I am not going to make that particular recipe, as that is not healthy for anyone in my house let alone Sophie, plus her portion size for such a recipe would be so minute that it wouldn't even be worth it to put any on her plate. But even though I know right away that I won't be making that recipe, I just have to wonder why anyone would make that recipe. Why put your health at risk for the sake of that plateful of "whatever"? Is it worth it? Why spend the money on the ingredients to make something which, even as it tastes good, is increasing your weight or your risk of heart disease? Why....
And on, and on....all these questions from looking at just one recipe.
Looking at food magazines and cookbooks etc etc is fraught with conflict, questions, self-doubt and second-guessing, anymore. I know of families where the entire family has gone vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free/sugar-free/carb-free/all-or-some-of-the-above, as a result of the PWS diagnosis. One family switched to juiced-everything, and says that not only has this helped their child-with-PWS, the whole family feels so much healthier. It seems inevitable that with the PWS diagnosis, simply walking into one's kitchen or eating anything at all, is an action which is so much less clear-cut than for the "typical" person or family. Food consumption becomes a guilty pleasure, or a hoped-for cure-all for your child's diagnosis, or it's just a every-two-hour-chore with no joy in it at all. I watch cooking shows sometimes and drool, not just because of what is being cooked but because of the person's freedom to cook whatever, without having to agonize over the calories and ingredients of the recipe. The people on the cooking show actually enjoy what they are doing! I'd like to get back to that, somehow. I'd like to be able to cook and bake in my kitchen without feeling like I have to do it in the middle of the night or only when Sophie is at school, so as not to cause her any extra distress.
Well, off to figure out what to make for dinner.... :-).
Later,
Jen
The topic sometimes comes up, among PWS parents, of "how have your/your family's eating habits changed since your child was diagnosed with PWS?". Because Prader-Willi Syndrome has almost everything to do with the scheduled consumption of food by one's child, and the calorie-count of that food, it is often a standard consequence that the eating/food preparation habits of everyone in the household are affected, both for better and for worse. Some parents are able to change their life 100% with the entrance of the PWS diagnosis, and they devote all of their time to becoming nutrition and supplement experts. Most parents, though, are doing the best they can, keeping their child-with-PWS as healthy and slim as they can while muddling through as far as feeding the rest of the family. "Food" and its preparation becomes a source of questioning and recalculating of eating habits that have been in practice for many years before the entrance of the PWS diagnosis.
Take me, for example.
Like a good number of PWS parents, I sneak snacks. I eat stuff I shouldn't, when I know Sophie won't see me. Eating in the late hours of the day when she is definitely in bed is now a bad habit of mine. I sometimes eat when I'm not at all hungry, because if I don't, I know that I'll become hungry in a moment when Sophie should not be eating, and to eat in front of her at that time would be cruel.
Then there is the "recipe collection". I have probably 100 back issues of food-based magazines; "Cooking Light", "Everyday Food", to name a few. There are several stacks of cookbooks on various shelves around the house. I have a binder bursting with several hundred recipes clipped from magazines and printed off from the internet.
But...do I actually "cook", anymore? As in, follow a recipe, make something "from scratch", spend any prolonged time in the kitchen?
Not really, for various PWS-related reasons.
Any extra time spent in the kitchen, when Sophie is home, in problematic. She likes to hang out in the kitchen and sometimes wants to help me, even if what I'm making is really simple. So then I worry, should she even be IN the kitchen at all? If she's watching me warm this up or make that, will she at some point sneak into the kitchen and try to make it herself (because I am ALWAYS telling her that this or that food item, if eaten without cooking it first, will make her very very sick - so as to somehow deter her from eating raw food product. Except then, will she just use her clever brain, take the food anyway, and try to cook it herself??). There is also the concern that, if something is cooking for a few hours and sending tantalizing smells all through the house, does that bother Sophie and cause her added stress? Do I open all the windows to decrease the smells? Should I just not cook or bake much at all?
And then, with all these cookbooks and food magazines and clipped recipes, of course it is now mandatory to consider the calorie-count-per-serving for whatever recipe. Sophie is eight years old now, and with the passing years I have kind of lost my desire to make much of anything - there is no longer any justification for making a recipe "just because it tastes or looks good" or "just because it was a comfort food when I was a kid", if one serving equals 200, 300, 400+ calories. Certainly Sophie's portion can be adjusted so that she can at least have some, and the rest of her meal would be suitably lightened up. That isn't hard to do, and I have certainly done that on occasions when it has been necessary. It gets tiring and depressing, though, to approach every recipe with that precaution in mind. Really, the more recipes I read, I start to question why any recipe, for any main dish, side dish, dessert, whatever, needs to be made with full-fat or full-calorie ingredients. If the population of the U.S. is in the midst of an obesity epidemic, then why does any company or chef or food magazine or cookbook author produce recipes with seemingly no regard for the calorie-count-per-serving? I have looked at recipes where the count is 600 calories-per-serving, and the serving size is one cup. Now, obviously I am not going to make that particular recipe, as that is not healthy for anyone in my house let alone Sophie, plus her portion size for such a recipe would be so minute that it wouldn't even be worth it to put any on her plate. But even though I know right away that I won't be making that recipe, I just have to wonder why anyone would make that recipe. Why put your health at risk for the sake of that plateful of "whatever"? Is it worth it? Why spend the money on the ingredients to make something which, even as it tastes good, is increasing your weight or your risk of heart disease? Why....
And on, and on....all these questions from looking at just one recipe.
Looking at food magazines and cookbooks etc etc is fraught with conflict, questions, self-doubt and second-guessing, anymore. I know of families where the entire family has gone vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free/sugar-free/carb-free/all-or-some-of-the-above, as a result of the PWS diagnosis. One family switched to juiced-everything, and says that not only has this helped their child-with-PWS, the whole family feels so much healthier. It seems inevitable that with the PWS diagnosis, simply walking into one's kitchen or eating anything at all, is an action which is so much less clear-cut than for the "typical" person or family. Food consumption becomes a guilty pleasure, or a hoped-for cure-all for your child's diagnosis, or it's just a every-two-hour-chore with no joy in it at all. I watch cooking shows sometimes and drool, not just because of what is being cooked but because of the person's freedom to cook whatever, without having to agonize over the calories and ingredients of the recipe. The people on the cooking show actually enjoy what they are doing! I'd like to get back to that, somehow. I'd like to be able to cook and bake in my kitchen without feeling like I have to do it in the middle of the night or only when Sophie is at school, so as not to cause her any extra distress.
Well, off to figure out what to make for dinner.... :-).
Later,
Jen
Monday, October 15, 2012
Being still
[Photograph by Linda McCartney, 1996]
The past 8-13 years have been crazy. Having children generally takes a person's life and shakes it...continuously. Any moment where it feels like you've caught up, that things make sense, that you've finally conquered chaos...is fleeting. Add a special-needs diagnosis for your younger child into the mix, and what you have is chaos and stress multiplied.
I came upon the above photograph at some point before the birth of my first child. I think I found it in a magazine, and clipped it to tuck into whatever journal I was using at that point. Little did I know then that this photograph would hint at a stillness which I have yet to recapture, 13 years into the parenting journey. But it is a beautiful image, I think. The background in unfocused of course, but when I look at this photo I envision the environment of the background to be several acres of grass/garden/woods, sloping gently down to a small creek. Just outside the area of this photo is a mug of steaming, freshly-steeped tea. Other than muffled sounds of birds and a breeze from outside, it is absolutely, utterly quiet in the room.
There is stillness in this image. And in contemplating it, there is a stolen moment of time in which to be still.
I am not still very often. That is a very difficult state to achieve for any woman with children, pets, and a house for which they are responsible. When I got up this morning I already had the weight on my head of the list of things which I should do, must do, on and on. For the past 13+ years I have belonged to a group of humans for whom "being still" must be, has to be, a conscious choice. This group of people no longer has the sweet luxury of chunks of completely un-claimed time. The much-celebrated and longed-for "weekend" really has no meaning. Being able to sit down and watch a 2-3 hour-long football game, without interruption, absolutely never happens. Sometimes "being still" means simply being able to stay in one place for several hours, without being called upon every 10-20 minutes (either mentally, or actually) to find something/cook something/clean something/feed someone/tend to someone else's needs.
I came upon the above photograph at some point before the birth of my first child. I think I found it in a magazine, and clipped it to tuck into whatever journal I was using at that point. Little did I know then that this photograph would hint at a stillness which I have yet to recapture, 13 years into the parenting journey. But it is a beautiful image, I think. The background in unfocused of course, but when I look at this photo I envision the environment of the background to be several acres of grass/garden/woods, sloping gently down to a small creek. Just outside the area of this photo is a mug of steaming, freshly-steeped tea. Other than muffled sounds of birds and a breeze from outside, it is absolutely, utterly quiet in the room.
There is stillness in this image. And in contemplating it, there is a stolen moment of time in which to be still.
I am not still very often. That is a very difficult state to achieve for any woman with children, pets, and a house for which they are responsible. When I got up this morning I already had the weight on my head of the list of things which I should do, must do, on and on. For the past 13+ years I have belonged to a group of humans for whom "being still" must be, has to be, a conscious choice. This group of people no longer has the sweet luxury of chunks of completely un-claimed time. The much-celebrated and longed-for "weekend" really has no meaning. Being able to sit down and watch a 2-3 hour-long football game, without interruption, absolutely never happens. Sometimes "being still" means simply being able to stay in one place for several hours, without being called upon every 10-20 minutes (either mentally, or actually) to find something/cook something/clean something/feed someone/tend to someone else's needs.
Do you choose to be still, every so often? What does your stillness look like?
Later,
Jen
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Things kids need
A new pair of these....
(cha-ching! $130!)
(cha-ching! $130!)
And some of these,
because, you know, that holiday is coming!
because, you know, that holiday is coming!Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I wish I could be That Mom...
You know...THIS mom: "
It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's SUPERMOM!"
The mom who cooks dinner every day, and vacuums consistently...whose kitchen floor is spotless, and who puts all the laundry away so fast it's like it never was dirty in the first place. The mom who is on top of her family's diet, budget, and everything else AND is in perfect shape/health herself. Now, when I take a deep breath and stop being hard on myself, I am able to remind myself that "SuperMom" doesn't really exist (which is probably why all the Google images of "SuperMom" are either cartoon images like the one above, or staged photographs). But still...
It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's SUPERMOM!"The mom who cooks dinner every day, and vacuums consistently...whose kitchen floor is spotless, and who puts all the laundry away so fast it's like it never was dirty in the first place. The mom who is on top of her family's diet, budget, and everything else AND is in perfect shape/health herself. Now, when I take a deep breath and stop being hard on myself, I am able to remind myself that "SuperMom" doesn't really exist (which is probably why all the Google images of "SuperMom" are either cartoon images like the one above, or staged photographs). But still...
I should be going to the grocery store today. I'm not sure that's going to happen.
There is a guy coming here tomorrow afternoon, to somehow make the Wi-Fi thing-a-ma-jig work in the house (which will hopefully lead to the Nook working, in the house...which would then lead to decreasing Brad's frustration with technology.) The thing-a-ma-jig is upstairs, by the computer. Thus, I feel like I should clean the upstairs - clothes put away, carpet vacuumed, office cleaned up....I kind of doubt that's going to happen.
The house is just full of...clutter, and/or "things that need doing". Old toys that need sorting. Old clothes that need sorting. A pile, which can only be gone through when S is not home, of school papers about to topple over on the buffet. A collection of "Lustreware" that needs selling. Books that need donating. Paperwork to file, an office to clean. Volunteer work that needs doing, which so often anymore seems to trump almost everything else in terms of claiming my time.
So, I don't know how productive today is going to be. Sigh. Some days are just like that, I guess.
Later,
Jen
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Facebook: One Giant Sociology Project
I often wonder if young Mr. Zuckerberg is aware of what he's created and started, with this Facebook thing in which so many of us participate these days.
Someday...or maybe it's happening now, who knows...some smart sociologist is going to team up with some psychologists and whichever other "____ists" would be interested, and start doing some studies on how the Facebook phenomenon has influenced human interaction.
It has brought on several new verbs, as in "Do you facebook?", and "Can I friend you?". It has most definitely sped up the rate at which relationships are both formed (for better or worse), and fall apart.
Some folks use Facebook as their diary, posting anything and everything about their daily lives, and saying "the heck with you" to anyone who objects.
There are those who firmly believe that Facebook should only be used to positive thoughts and happy news.
The ability to "unfriend" and "block" someone, between one breath and the next, based only on the words seen on a computer screen, can make one's head spin.
And at the same time, I myself have benefited greatly from Facebook, in that it has allowed me and many others in the Prader-Willi Syndrome community to connect with each other. Without Facebook, there is little or no chance I would have linked up with PWS families around the world. Eight years ago, my husband and I knew no-one whose child had been diagnosed with PWS. Now, because of the internet and Facebook, I am linked to 700+ parents/grandparents/caregivers to individuals with PWS, and to several individuals-with-PWS themselves. It is an amazing thing. It is a good thing. I'm thankful for it. I'm sure there are other special-needs and rare-disease communities who have had the same experience.
So, I'll be honest and say that over the past 3 years since I joined Facebook, there have been plenty of days when I have been truly blessed and uplifted by the support provided by friends, family, and acquaintances. At the same time, there have also been plenty of days when the dynamics that happen there have been stressful, and hurtful, and have really made me want to cancel my entire account. I mean, how much can we really know about that person typing those words which appear within seconds right in front of me? Can they be trusted? Who knows....and for the most part, probably not. I've gotten better at trusting my gut-instinct about people who I know only through Facebook; but that takes at least a year of reading their posts. So, even on Facebook, where getting a response from someone can happen so blessedly fast - it takes time before you can really get a sense of even a small part of someone's character.
It will be intertesting to read what the sociologists start telling us, in about 10 years.
Later,
Jen
Someday...or maybe it's happening now, who knows...some smart sociologist is going to team up with some psychologists and whichever other "____ists" would be interested, and start doing some studies on how the Facebook phenomenon has influenced human interaction.
It has brought on several new verbs, as in "Do you facebook?", and "Can I friend you?". It has most definitely sped up the rate at which relationships are both formed (for better or worse), and fall apart.
Some folks use Facebook as their diary, posting anything and everything about their daily lives, and saying "the heck with you" to anyone who objects.
There are those who firmly believe that Facebook should only be used to positive thoughts and happy news.
The ability to "unfriend" and "block" someone, between one breath and the next, based only on the words seen on a computer screen, can make one's head spin.
And at the same time, I myself have benefited greatly from Facebook, in that it has allowed me and many others in the Prader-Willi Syndrome community to connect with each other. Without Facebook, there is little or no chance I would have linked up with PWS families around the world. Eight years ago, my husband and I knew no-one whose child had been diagnosed with PWS. Now, because of the internet and Facebook, I am linked to 700+ parents/grandparents/caregivers to individuals with PWS, and to several individuals-with-PWS themselves. It is an amazing thing. It is a good thing. I'm thankful for it. I'm sure there are other special-needs and rare-disease communities who have had the same experience.
So, I'll be honest and say that over the past 3 years since I joined Facebook, there have been plenty of days when I have been truly blessed and uplifted by the support provided by friends, family, and acquaintances. At the same time, there have also been plenty of days when the dynamics that happen there have been stressful, and hurtful, and have really made me want to cancel my entire account. I mean, how much can we really know about that person typing those words which appear within seconds right in front of me? Can they be trusted? Who knows....and for the most part, probably not. I've gotten better at trusting my gut-instinct about people who I know only through Facebook; but that takes at least a year of reading their posts. So, even on Facebook, where getting a response from someone can happen so blessedly fast - it takes time before you can really get a sense of even a small part of someone's character.
It will be intertesting to read what the sociologists start telling us, in about 10 years.
Later,
Jen
Thursday, July 12, 2012
[Bump] The blog's name...
comes from the lyrics to the song for the song "Say", by John Mayer:
[edited post, originally published in January 2009]
"Take all of your wasted honor
every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to saaaay
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to say
Have no fear, for giving in
Have no fear, for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open...
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to, say what you need to,
say what you need to saaaay....."
I've heard this song many times on the radio. I'm not a huge fan of John Mayer the person, but I do like this particular song. It has a very direct message, which states that it's better to get out those feelings in your head and heart than to keep them in, where they do no-one any good.
The lyrics of this song are an excellent illustration of what really worthwhile communication is about, whether through blogging, or phone calls, or face-to-face conversations: are we really saying what needs to be said? What really needs to be said to the people in our lives, not just idle chit-chat?
So, why the phrase "Say what you need to say" as a title for this blog? Well, I guess because I see blogging as an outlet for at least some of what I want to say. I'm an intelligent person who is currently in need of both a writing outlet and a way to write about various aspects of my life. I'll be writing about various things, including books, and marriage, and parenting, and life as a parent of a special-needs-child, and life with a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome and all the challenges that brings to me and my family. I could write a whole blog on PWS all by itself...but that's not all of who I am, and while PWS definitely affects my family it does not completely define my family. I may mention God/Jesus and my faith life at times, but please, I'm not trying to evangelize anyone or shove religion at you! I may be learning a bit about myself in this process, but that's to be expected, and I hope you'll bear with me -- like this blog, we are all a work-in-progress!
Later,
Jen
[edited post, originally published in January 2009]
"Take all of your wasted honor
every little past frustration
Take all of your so called problems
better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to saaaay
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7),
Say what you need to say
Have no fear, for giving in
Have no fear, for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open...
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to, say what you need to,
say what you need to saaaay....."
I've heard this song many times on the radio. I'm not a huge fan of John Mayer the person, but I do like this particular song. It has a very direct message, which states that it's better to get out those feelings in your head and heart than to keep them in, where they do no-one any good.
The lyrics of this song are an excellent illustration of what really worthwhile communication is about, whether through blogging, or phone calls, or face-to-face conversations: are we really saying what needs to be said? What really needs to be said to the people in our lives, not just idle chit-chat?
So, why the phrase "Say what you need to say" as a title for this blog? Well, I guess because I see blogging as an outlet for at least some of what I want to say. I'm an intelligent person who is currently in need of both a writing outlet and a way to write about various aspects of my life. I'll be writing about various things, including books, and marriage, and parenting, and life as a parent of a special-needs-child, and life with a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome and all the challenges that brings to me and my family. I could write a whole blog on PWS all by itself...but that's not all of who I am, and while PWS definitely affects my family it does not completely define my family. I may mention God/Jesus and my faith life at times, but please, I'm not trying to evangelize anyone or shove religion at you! I may be learning a bit about myself in this process, but that's to be expected, and I hope you'll bear with me -- like this blog, we are all a work-in-progress!
Later,
Jen
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Back?
Well. It has been a while - almost 10 months - since the last post.
This is kind of just a test post, to see if my blog still automatically links to Facebook; it was doing that, and I am still paying for that service (but not taking advantage of it, obviously!). I am not sure I will continue blogging, and without a doubt some of the posts on the blog will become non-visible or will disappear. It's easy, when starting out on a blog, to just sit down and start telling the world about yourself. Or at least, I found that pretty easy - leading to possibly giving out more background information about myself than I'm actually comfortable with! So, we'll see about all this.
Later,
Jen
This is kind of just a test post, to see if my blog still automatically links to Facebook; it was doing that, and I am still paying for that service (but not taking advantage of it, obviously!). I am not sure I will continue blogging, and without a doubt some of the posts on the blog will become non-visible or will disappear. It's easy, when starting out on a blog, to just sit down and start telling the world about yourself. Or at least, I found that pretty easy - leading to possibly giving out more background information about myself than I'm actually comfortable with! So, we'll see about all this.
Later,
Jen
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten Years Ago
I know many people will have much to say, today. It is hard to believe that it has been 10 years since we watched the terrible and unthinkable play across our t.v. screens and our newspapers and our computer screens.
10 years ago, I was in my living room at our previous house. K and I were getting ready to go to a playgroup. Someone called me, I don't remember who exactly but possibly it was my mom or one of my sisters. They told me a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and to turn on the t.v., so I did.
I was 28 at the time. My world had taken a monumental turn when I became a parent...that day, that morning, I think the entire universe shifted for many, many people.
I have to admit, I have been trying not to turn on the t.v. very much this weekend; and even checking into my F.acebook page has been difficult, because of the near-constant remembrances and ceremonies going on. This is not because I am unpatriotic, or cold-hearted, or unfeeling...far from it.
You see, we live about 10 minutes from a busy, 'international' airport. We are in the landing/take-off paths for just about every plane that uses that airport. Since we've lived in our current house, our route to take K to dance travels a road over which large passenger planes regularly take off and land just feet above our heads. Even 10 years ago, in the previous house, we were still in the landing pattern and takeoff patterns for the airport. I have always lived in this proximity to this airport. The sound of plane engines is a constant.
As I told my husband earlier today, every day since that day - once the airlines restarted flights - I have never been able to watch a plane about to land or taking off overhead without thinking about 9/11, about those in NYC who watched a passenger jet slam not once but twice into the WTC towers, about those people on those planes who at some point realized they were about to die, about all the people that died that day. Because of where we live, two of the planes used that day flew right over our heads, in that beautiful, sunny September sky.
As I said, the air traffic around here is constant. We drive by the airport runways several times a week, almost every week. Part of the environmental sound here, in my neighborhood, is the roar of jet engines. Memorials of 9/11 have been a constant, for me. Maybe I'm strange that way, thinking about 9/11 just because I drive by the airport as a jet engine roars and screams away 200 feet above me, I don't know.
Whatever the events of 9/11 will come to mean as the future unrolls, I haven't forgotten them. I never will. It's just not possible, nor would I want to.
Later,
Jen
10 years ago, I was in my living room at our previous house. K and I were getting ready to go to a playgroup. Someone called me, I don't remember who exactly but possibly it was my mom or one of my sisters. They told me a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and to turn on the t.v., so I did.
I was 28 at the time. My world had taken a monumental turn when I became a parent...that day, that morning, I think the entire universe shifted for many, many people.
I have to admit, I have been trying not to turn on the t.v. very much this weekend; and even checking into my F.acebook page has been difficult, because of the near-constant remembrances and ceremonies going on. This is not because I am unpatriotic, or cold-hearted, or unfeeling...far from it.
You see, we live about 10 minutes from a busy, 'international' airport. We are in the landing/take-off paths for just about every plane that uses that airport. Since we've lived in our current house, our route to take K to dance travels a road over which large passenger planes regularly take off and land just feet above our heads. Even 10 years ago, in the previous house, we were still in the landing pattern and takeoff patterns for the airport. I have always lived in this proximity to this airport. The sound of plane engines is a constant.
As I told my husband earlier today, every day since that day - once the airlines restarted flights - I have never been able to watch a plane about to land or taking off overhead without thinking about 9/11, about those in NYC who watched a passenger jet slam not once but twice into the WTC towers, about those people on those planes who at some point realized they were about to die, about all the people that died that day. Because of where we live, two of the planes used that day flew right over our heads, in that beautiful, sunny September sky.
As I said, the air traffic around here is constant. We drive by the airport runways several times a week, almost every week. Part of the environmental sound here, in my neighborhood, is the roar of jet engines. Memorials of 9/11 have been a constant, for me. Maybe I'm strange that way, thinking about 9/11 just because I drive by the airport as a jet engine roars and screams away 200 feet above me, I don't know.
Whatever the events of 9/11 will come to mean as the future unrolls, I haven't forgotten them. I never will. It's just not possible, nor would I want to.
Later,
Jen
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
As Elder Daughter turns 12
Elder Daughter turns 12 in the next week. She just started 7th grade yesterday. The first day went well - although I am more than a little nervous about her ability to stay on top of the amount of homework she will now be getting, with 7 different teachers/classes! She's taking French - her homework yesterday was to practice saying her name with a French accent. To help her I kept asking her to say that for me...I'm sure speaking that way will feel awkward for her at first, but to truly implant a foreign language in the brain, ya gotta actually speak it!
Anyway, like I said, she's turning 12 soon. I look at her, with her makeup and getting taller...and my brain can't help but jump forward about 10 years and wonder what her future will be! Here is a list of all the things I wish for her:
-I hope she chooses a path for her life which not only makes her happy, but is also fulfilling, honest, legal, moral, and pays her bills!
-I hope she is picky about who she dates! She won't be actually "dating" until she's maybe 15 or 16, which I suspect will become hard to enforce because I know B and I are more strict with her than the parents of her peers in some respects.
-I hope she grows into a young woman who is curious about the world beyond our town, our part of the country, our continent!
-I want her to understand that just because her peers may have little or no interest in attending college, as a female in this economy/society it is doubly important that she obtain as much higher education as possible!
-I hope she grows to understand that getting married is not a mandatory choice just because she is female. I hope as she gets older, she understands that while it is human nature to want and have relationships, it is not imperative to be married in order to be happy.
-I hope that as she gets older, she knows that it is not mandatory - just because she is female - that she have children. If she does choose to have children, I hope she waits to do that until she has a true understanding of the sacrifices involved. I hope she understands that the choices to get married, and/or become a parent, should be fully informed choices and not something that circumstances choose for her.
-I hope she grows into someone who chooses to read a book/take a hike/walk the dog/otherwise engage her brain cells...instead of watching hours of pointless television.
-I hope she maintains a compassionate and kind heart for those who have not had the same advantages she has been blessed with, and approaches those people/situations with which she in unfamiliar with an open mind.
-I hope she maintains a positive relationship with her sister, throughout their lives.
I could think of more, I'm sure! By the way, I doubt K will see this post - at least not anytime soon. I wouldn't lay all this on her anyway, it's all too 'deep' for a kid her age and anyway, I'm sure I have told her most of this one way or another. I have to go make a "real hair-cut" appointment for her, she wants an actual style, done at a hair salon as a birthday present.
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Anyway, like I said, she's turning 12 soon. I look at her, with her makeup and getting taller...and my brain can't help but jump forward about 10 years and wonder what her future will be! Here is a list of all the things I wish for her:
-I hope she chooses a path for her life which not only makes her happy, but is also fulfilling, honest, legal, moral, and pays her bills!
-I hope she is picky about who she dates! She won't be actually "dating" until she's maybe 15 or 16, which I suspect will become hard to enforce because I know B and I are more strict with her than the parents of her peers in some respects.
-I hope she grows into a young woman who is curious about the world beyond our town, our part of the country, our continent!
-I want her to understand that just because her peers may have little or no interest in attending college, as a female in this economy/society it is doubly important that she obtain as much higher education as possible!
-I hope she grows to understand that getting married is not a mandatory choice just because she is female. I hope as she gets older, she understands that while it is human nature to want and have relationships, it is not imperative to be married in order to be happy.
-I hope that as she gets older, she knows that it is not mandatory - just because she is female - that she have children. If she does choose to have children, I hope she waits to do that until she has a true understanding of the sacrifices involved. I hope she understands that the choices to get married, and/or become a parent, should be fully informed choices and not something that circumstances choose for her.
-I hope she grows into someone who chooses to read a book/take a hike/walk the dog/otherwise engage her brain cells...instead of watching hours of pointless television.
-I hope she maintains a compassionate and kind heart for those who have not had the same advantages she has been blessed with, and approaches those people/situations with which she in unfamiliar with an open mind.
-I hope she maintains a positive relationship with her sister, throughout their lives.
I could think of more, I'm sure! By the way, I doubt K will see this post - at least not anytime soon. I wouldn't lay all this on her anyway, it's all too 'deep' for a kid her age and anyway, I'm sure I have told her most of this one way or another. I have to go make a "real hair-cut" appointment for her, she wants an actual style, done at a hair salon as a birthday present.
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Monday, August 29, 2011
Mental "down-time"
The kids finally, finally, finally started back to school today. It was both a quick AND a long summer. Part of our current challenge, here, is teaching Elder Daughter (aka "K") how to best tolerate Younger Daughter's (aka "S") behavioral and personality "quirks". S's quirks are very much generated, at this point, by Prader-Willi Syndrome - and so, while she will grow up and change some, many of those quirks are syndrome-driven and, as such, aren't going anywhere. Thus, what drives K crazy will continue to do that, unless and until we can help her find some coping tactics. One of the current coping tactics is for her to go in her room and hang out there with her door closed...but, you know, I don't want her doing that constantly.
Anyway. That's not what I was going to write about! I was actually going to present this list:
10 things I am taking advantage of, being home by myself:
1. Being able to take a shower without S needing to use the bathroom. We do have two bathrooms...that's one thing that sold us on this particular house...but that doesn't mean either child is willing to actually go downstairs and use the other freakin' bathroom!
2. Being able to move about the house, doing this and that, without persistent questions about what I am doing and why I am doing it.
3. NOT having to prepare some snack or meal, every 120 minutes. NOT having to consult the clock unless I need to. Aaaaah, the mental rest that comes when my child-with-PWS, who is constantly thinking about the next eating time, is at school for 6.5 hours. Aaaaahhhhhh.
4. Being able to go outside, let the dog out, skim the pool....and not have to worry about the girls in the house, getting into a vicious back-and-forth over something.
5. Being able to run errands quickly, without needing to plan it around the 10 - noon - 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. snack/meal times. Running errands quickly is not possible with any child under the age of, say, 10 or so. Not that I've run any errands today, but I will tomorrow.
6. The silence in the house. The absolute, utter silence.
7. Being able to use the computer all day, to get things done that I've been putting off for weeks.
8. Being able to listen to an entire CD, without S coming along and wanting to listen to something herself.
9. Being able to sit and do absolutely nothing except let my brain rest, for some short length of time. Aaaaahh. Bliss.
What does your mental "down-time" look like? Do you meditate, take a walk, take a drive?
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Anyway. That's not what I was going to write about! I was actually going to present this list:
10 things I am taking advantage of, being home by myself:
1. Being able to take a shower without S needing to use the bathroom. We do have two bathrooms...that's one thing that sold us on this particular house...but that doesn't mean either child is willing to actually go downstairs and use the other freakin' bathroom!
2. Being able to move about the house, doing this and that, without persistent questions about what I am doing and why I am doing it.
3. NOT having to prepare some snack or meal, every 120 minutes. NOT having to consult the clock unless I need to. Aaaaah, the mental rest that comes when my child-with-PWS, who is constantly thinking about the next eating time, is at school for 6.5 hours. Aaaaahhhhhh.
4. Being able to go outside, let the dog out, skim the pool....and not have to worry about the girls in the house, getting into a vicious back-and-forth over something.
5. Being able to run errands quickly, without needing to plan it around the 10 - noon - 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. snack/meal times. Running errands quickly is not possible with any child under the age of, say, 10 or so. Not that I've run any errands today, but I will tomorrow.
6. The silence in the house. The absolute, utter silence.
7. Being able to use the computer all day, to get things done that I've been putting off for weeks.
8. Being able to listen to an entire CD, without S coming along and wanting to listen to something herself.
9. Being able to sit and do absolutely nothing except let my brain rest, for some short length of time. Aaaaahh. Bliss.
What does your mental "down-time" look like? Do you meditate, take a walk, take a drive?
Thanks for visiting.
Later,
Jen
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Garage Sale Report!
Yay, it is DONE! Some observations from the day:
1) When I make 5 signs advertising my garage sale, and every single flippin' sign says VERY clearly "NO EARLY BIRDS", yes I really do mean that if the sale starts at 9 a.m. I am not ready or willing to sell even a pencil UNTIL 9 A.M. I really mean that. I'm not kidding. I am not a morning person so, FOR SURE, I am not ready for you to begin trolling through my cast-offs until 9 A.M. and no sooner.
2) And you know what? The woman who attempted to start shopping my sale early this morning was, I swear, the same woman who tried to do the same thing at the sale we had about 3 years ago. Apparently she has not learned how to read.
3) Once again, same as with the last time we had a garage sale, the things I thought would sell immediately...didn't sell immediately, or didn't sell at all. For example, the Hubster used to work for a company called "The Bom.bay Company". It was a higher-priced home decor store. At one point they company opened a Kids decor store, from which he purchaned this small, pink, ride-on rocking poodle thing. Stop laughing, it's very cute. It originally was priced for about $130 (he bought it at a discount). The girls were never at all rough with their toys and this little toy was no exception - it's still in really good shape. We had it priced for $10. We still have it, it did not sell. I was really surprised.
4) Coffee mugs do not sell well, at garage sales.
5) Maci.ntosh computers from around 2002 (?) also do not sell well. In fact, they don't sell at all.
6) A cozy-looking pink Snu.ggie, which some young girl received for Christmas just 8 months ago....also does not sell.
After our last garage sale, I was amazed at how much "money spent" was represented by all the stuff we had spread out or put on tables, on our lawn. It was truly amazing, the hundreds of dollars represented by what we had on sale that day. This time around, the Hubster made that observation first, early in the day, as we sat and surveyed everything we had put out. Lots and lots and lots of toys, lots and lots of children's book, a good number of very nice girl's dresses, almost $1000 worth of car seats and baby equipment...all priced at just a fraction of its original cost. Some of the toys were really never even played with. I know, I know - that's the way it is with kids. You can try and guess what kinds of things they'd like for birthdays or holidays, but inevitably, unless they're standing right there telling you what to buy AND they have about two months to try out the thing first, you have only about a 10% chance of getting them something they actually will keep/like/use. So, a good deal of the gifts kids get are either re-gifted, or touched once and then put away, or exchanged for the thing they really wanted. Maybe companies should start shaping the gift cards into big, gift-size plastic cubes gift-cards, so we can all wrap/gift those for birthdays and holidays and still be sure that the kids will like/use them? I will say this - if you are still in the baby-having phase of your life, or you are a grandparent who is able to spend time with the grandkids - shop at garage sales. Do not pay full-price for ANYTHING which you might be able to get, almost new and for so much less, at a garage sale. This includes small toys or toy 'parts', large plastic yard toys, books, furniture, playpens, high-chairs, clothing. Seriously, take a day and troll the neighborhood garage sales. It may take a couple stops or tries but I am sure you will find something good!
Thanks for visiting!
Later,
Jen
1) When I make 5 signs advertising my garage sale, and every single flippin' sign says VERY clearly "NO EARLY BIRDS", yes I really do mean that if the sale starts at 9 a.m. I am not ready or willing to sell even a pencil UNTIL 9 A.M. I really mean that. I'm not kidding. I am not a morning person so, FOR SURE, I am not ready for you to begin trolling through my cast-offs until 9 A.M. and no sooner.
2) And you know what? The woman who attempted to start shopping my sale early this morning was, I swear, the same woman who tried to do the same thing at the sale we had about 3 years ago. Apparently she has not learned how to read.
3) Once again, same as with the last time we had a garage sale, the things I thought would sell immediately...didn't sell immediately, or didn't sell at all. For example, the Hubster used to work for a company called "The Bom.bay Company". It was a higher-priced home decor store. At one point they company opened a Kids decor store, from which he purchaned this small, pink, ride-on rocking poodle thing. Stop laughing, it's very cute. It originally was priced for about $130 (he bought it at a discount). The girls were never at all rough with their toys and this little toy was no exception - it's still in really good shape. We had it priced for $10. We still have it, it did not sell. I was really surprised.
4) Coffee mugs do not sell well, at garage sales.
5) Maci.ntosh computers from around 2002 (?) also do not sell well. In fact, they don't sell at all.
6) A cozy-looking pink Snu.ggie, which some young girl received for Christmas just 8 months ago....also does not sell.
After our last garage sale, I was amazed at how much "money spent" was represented by all the stuff we had spread out or put on tables, on our lawn. It was truly amazing, the hundreds of dollars represented by what we had on sale that day. This time around, the Hubster made that observation first, early in the day, as we sat and surveyed everything we had put out. Lots and lots and lots of toys, lots and lots of children's book, a good number of very nice girl's dresses, almost $1000 worth of car seats and baby equipment...all priced at just a fraction of its original cost. Some of the toys were really never even played with. I know, I know - that's the way it is with kids. You can try and guess what kinds of things they'd like for birthdays or holidays, but inevitably, unless they're standing right there telling you what to buy AND they have about two months to try out the thing first, you have only about a 10% chance of getting them something they actually will keep/like/use. So, a good deal of the gifts kids get are either re-gifted, or touched once and then put away, or exchanged for the thing they really wanted. Maybe companies should start shaping the gift cards into big, gift-size plastic cubes gift-cards, so we can all wrap/gift those for birthdays and holidays and still be sure that the kids will like/use them? I will say this - if you are still in the baby-having phase of your life, or you are a grandparent who is able to spend time with the grandkids - shop at garage sales. Do not pay full-price for ANYTHING which you might be able to get, almost new and for so much less, at a garage sale. This includes small toys or toy 'parts', large plastic yard toys, books, furniture, playpens, high-chairs, clothing. Seriously, take a day and troll the neighborhood garage sales. It may take a couple stops or tries but I am sure you will find something good!
Thanks for visiting!
Later,
Jen
Monday, August 22, 2011
What day is it?
Oh, right. It's Monday. Okay I'm all caught up now. It's summer, the kids are not back in school yet...once S got done with summer camp the days all started to sort of run together.
I'm just going to ramble. The kids start back to school in one week. I don't know what I will do with myself, that first day. I know I will be freakin' tired because we will all be getting up at, like, 6:30 a.m. so that Elder Daughter will be ready for me to take her to school by 7:45. 6:30 A.M., people. I'm a SAHM, and my kids have never been early risers, so this is an adjustment with every new school year. I may have a ride to school for her, so that Younger Daughter and I don't have to get in the car, take Elder Daughter to school, then come back home and get Younger Daughter further ready for school before her van comes to pick her up at almost 8:30. Frickity-frack. We are having a garage sale on Thursday. Here are some photos of the stuff for sale:
Here you see bins of clothes; a sit'n'spin which neither of my kids could really use; bins of books
Clothes rack with the kids' too-small Halloween costumes, and too-small dresses
Books, these were my husband's. I was surprised he was willing to part with this many.
This is the growing pile of to-be-sold stuff. I took this picture several weeks ago, the pile got much bigger and spread to the other side of the garage as well. Cleaned out a lot of stuff from the basement - toys, lots of those; books; three old televisions which have a VCR attached (not sure if they work, they'd need a converter thing); a printer/fax machine; a printer; a record-player/cassette player/radio thing; an old Apple computer; a Little Tikes slide; a Little Tikes "Cozy Coupe" (those red and yellow plastic cars that moves with foot-power); several car seats; two playpens. And many more bits of flotsam and jetsam. Oh! In the process of cleaning I found my roller blades! I wouldn't put those on again if you paid me, I'm sure I would break something. I also found my ice skates; I may end up keeping those as they almost fit Elder Daughter at this point (and they don't fit me, not that I'm really fit enough to ice skate at this point).
I have to admit, while it was incredibly liberating to take bag after bag of stuff out to the garage, or fill many trash bags with stuff for trash day, I did hit a point where going through the kids' stuff got difficult and I had to take a break. I mean, I know they don't play with this stuff anymore, or wear whatever it is - but it is still hard to continuously let it go. I'm not having any more kids...these girls are It. So in letting these things go I am simultaneously letting "That Part" of my life go. Which means not only are the kids getting older...so am I. Here is the item which stopped me in my tracks, and I had to stop sorting for the day:
It's a small, blue, plastic wagon. It's small enough that the kids couldn't ride in it but I think S would put her stuffed animals in it and take them for a ride. I don't even think she is that attached to it. But for whatever reason, I got to this little wagon - and just had to stop making decisions about all the "stuff" for that day.
I'm keeping the wagon.
So the sale is in three days. I'm about ready to just put up a sign that says "everything's $1" and be done with it. Not excited to be out in the garage for the next few days, pricing everything. I told someone once that I would love to get my house emptied out to such a point that, should some emergency arise where we had to move, we could be completely packed up in two days. I don't think such a thing is possible when it's a family of four; inevitably there's just too much needed for daily living to have such a spare living space! So I've gotten rid of quite a bit this summer, and will enjoy making money watching more of it go to people who will hopefully use it. But I'd say we are still a pack-up-the-house-in-one-week-at-least family.
Elder Daughter starts middle school on Monday. She is wearing makeup now. She is not too heavy-handed with it...but I have to say, it is still an odd sensation for me, to look at her with makeup on. She complains, when washing it off at night, that the soap stings her eyes. I (rather unsympathetically, I know) responded, "welcome to the world of makeup". She also is all up-to-date with her shots, now - got three altogether last week. Two in one arm, and the shot area proceeded to hurt a bit and swell up a little. One of the shots was the meningitis vaccine...have you heard those commercials? Well, I don't even need the commercials really, we've probably all heard the news stories where a young person got meningitis and passed away a day later. That scenario scares the cr*p out of me. We go to the middle school tomorrow, to get her schedule and hopefully track down the whoever-it-is that can correct her schedule (K was horrified to find out they think she's taking choir. She's actually supposed to be signed up for orchestra. I'm not sure why Choir is so horrifying.). S will have to come with us and I'm sure that will (NOT) be fun, as I'm sure K will be totally embarassed by S staring at everyone.
It has been an okay summer, I guess. We had about 10 days of really ugly heat, and that was about it; it's actually a bit cool-ish outside at the moment. The pool we set up has lasted, thankfully, without collapsing - it's not on level ground, and when you fill up a pool with about 4500 gallons of very heavy water and the pool isn't on 100% level ground, you end up eye-ing the thing every day wondering if it's going to make it. I was pricing pool heaters the other day. Since it is starting to get chillier here at night, and the pool is in the shade most of the day, the water is, uh, not exactly fun to swim in. Did you know that pool-water heaters cost anywhere from $150 - $1600??? I don't think we need the super-expensive one, thank God! But Elder Daughter's b-day party is supposed to include swimming....which will save me from having to think up appropriately-amusing party games for 5-6 pre-teen girls...so I may go ahead and invest in the heater! I did not end up teaching K how to cook this summer. Well, correction: One morning after dropping S off at camp, I came home and showed K how to toast two waffles in the toaster oven for her breakfast. Silly me, even though she seemed to be awake, lucid, and paying attention, she now does not remember me EVER SHOWING HER THAT. Seriously. I also would have been challenged to get her excited about learning to cook.
Okay, okay....I chickened out on the cooking thing. She and I butt heads about so many things sometimes...including and definitely NOT limited to how she treats her sister...that I was not eager to do the cooking thing because I know she would have fought it. I mean, yes, of course, in 10 or 15 or 20 years she'd have all these great memories maybe, and perhaps she's be inspired to become the next Ir.on Chef or whatever. But in the moment, to be honest...I was just intensely grateful that the two kids had some time apart, and didn't exert myself to "force" K to spend her sister-free time doing something she probably would have fought me about. Oh well, such is life.
Ah, enough rambling. Thanks for visiting,
Later,
Jen
I'm just going to ramble. The kids start back to school in one week. I don't know what I will do with myself, that first day. I know I will be freakin' tired because we will all be getting up at, like, 6:30 a.m. so that Elder Daughter will be ready for me to take her to school by 7:45. 6:30 A.M., people. I'm a SAHM, and my kids have never been early risers, so this is an adjustment with every new school year. I may have a ride to school for her, so that Younger Daughter and I don't have to get in the car, take Elder Daughter to school, then come back home and get Younger Daughter further ready for school before her van comes to pick her up at almost 8:30. Frickity-frack. We are having a garage sale on Thursday. Here are some photos of the stuff for sale:
I have to admit, while it was incredibly liberating to take bag after bag of stuff out to the garage, or fill many trash bags with stuff for trash day, I did hit a point where going through the kids' stuff got difficult and I had to take a break. I mean, I know they don't play with this stuff anymore, or wear whatever it is - but it is still hard to continuously let it go. I'm not having any more kids...these girls are It. So in letting these things go I am simultaneously letting "That Part" of my life go. Which means not only are the kids getting older...so am I. Here is the item which stopped me in my tracks, and I had to stop sorting for the day:
I'm keeping the wagon.
So the sale is in three days. I'm about ready to just put up a sign that says "everything's $1" and be done with it. Not excited to be out in the garage for the next few days, pricing everything. I told someone once that I would love to get my house emptied out to such a point that, should some emergency arise where we had to move, we could be completely packed up in two days. I don't think such a thing is possible when it's a family of four; inevitably there's just too much needed for daily living to have such a spare living space! So I've gotten rid of quite a bit this summer, and will enjoy making money watching more of it go to people who will hopefully use it. But I'd say we are still a pack-up-the-house-in-one-week-at-least family.
Elder Daughter starts middle school on Monday. She is wearing makeup now. She is not too heavy-handed with it...but I have to say, it is still an odd sensation for me, to look at her with makeup on. She complains, when washing it off at night, that the soap stings her eyes. I (rather unsympathetically, I know) responded, "welcome to the world of makeup". She also is all up-to-date with her shots, now - got three altogether last week. Two in one arm, and the shot area proceeded to hurt a bit and swell up a little. One of the shots was the meningitis vaccine...have you heard those commercials? Well, I don't even need the commercials really, we've probably all heard the news stories where a young person got meningitis and passed away a day later. That scenario scares the cr*p out of me. We go to the middle school tomorrow, to get her schedule and hopefully track down the whoever-it-is that can correct her schedule (K was horrified to find out they think she's taking choir. She's actually supposed to be signed up for orchestra. I'm not sure why Choir is so horrifying.). S will have to come with us and I'm sure that will (NOT) be fun, as I'm sure K will be totally embarassed by S staring at everyone.
It has been an okay summer, I guess. We had about 10 days of really ugly heat, and that was about it; it's actually a bit cool-ish outside at the moment. The pool we set up has lasted, thankfully, without collapsing - it's not on level ground, and when you fill up a pool with about 4500 gallons of very heavy water and the pool isn't on 100% level ground, you end up eye-ing the thing every day wondering if it's going to make it. I was pricing pool heaters the other day. Since it is starting to get chillier here at night, and the pool is in the shade most of the day, the water is, uh, not exactly fun to swim in. Did you know that pool-water heaters cost anywhere from $150 - $1600??? I don't think we need the super-expensive one, thank God! But Elder Daughter's b-day party is supposed to include swimming....which will save me from having to think up appropriately-amusing party games for 5-6 pre-teen girls...so I may go ahead and invest in the heater! I did not end up teaching K how to cook this summer. Well, correction: One morning after dropping S off at camp, I came home and showed K how to toast two waffles in the toaster oven for her breakfast. Silly me, even though she seemed to be awake, lucid, and paying attention, she now does not remember me EVER SHOWING HER THAT. Seriously. I also would have been challenged to get her excited about learning to cook.
Okay, okay....I chickened out on the cooking thing. She and I butt heads about so many things sometimes...including and definitely NOT limited to how she treats her sister...that I was not eager to do the cooking thing because I know she would have fought it. I mean, yes, of course, in 10 or 15 or 20 years she'd have all these great memories maybe, and perhaps she's be inspired to become the next Ir.on Chef or whatever. But in the moment, to be honest...I was just intensely grateful that the two kids had some time apart, and didn't exert myself to "force" K to spend her sister-free time doing something she probably would have fought me about. Oh well, such is life.
Ah, enough rambling. Thanks for visiting,
Later,
Jen
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